Part 3

f(1) Cranaus, the second king of Athens, the successor of Cecrops.

AMBASSADOR For great feeders and heavy drinkers are alone esteemed as men by the barbarians.

DICAEOPOLIS Just as here in Athens, we only esteem the most drunken debauchees.

AMBASSADOR At the end of the fourth year we reached the King's Court, but he had left with his whole army to ease himself, and for the space of eight months he was thus easing himself in the midst of the golden mountains.(1)

f(1) Lucian, in his 'Hermotimus,' speaks of these golden mountains as an apocryphal land of wonders and prodigies.

DICAEOPOLIS And how long was he replacing his dress?

AMBASSADOR The whole period of a full moon; after which he returned to his palace; then he entertained us and had us served with oxen roasted whole in an oven.

DICAEOPOLIS Who ever saw an oxen baked in an oven? What a lie!

AMBASSADOR On my honour, he also had us served with a bird three times as large as Cleonymus,(1) and called the Boaster.

f(1) Cleonymus was an Athenian general of exceptionally tall stature; Aristophanes incessantly rallies him for his cowardice; he had cast away his buckler in a fight.

DICAEOPOLIS And do we give you two drachmae, that you should treat us to all this humbug?

AMBASSADOR We are bringing to you Pseudartabas(1), the King's Eye.

f(1) A name borne by certain officials of the King of Persia. The actor of this part wore a mask, fitted with a single eye of great size.

DICAEOPOLIS I would a crow might pluck out thine with his beak, you cursed ambassador!

HERALD The King's Eye!

DICAEOPOLIS Eh! Great Gods! Friend, with thy great eye, round like the hole through which the oarsman passes his sweep, you have the air of a galley doubling a cape to gain port.

AMBASSADOR Come, Pseudartabas, give forth the message for the Athenians with which you were charged by the Great King.

PSEUDARTABAS Jartaman exarx 'anapissonia satra.(1)

f(1) Jargon, no doubt meaningless in all languages.

AMBASSADOR Do you understand what he says?

DICAEOPOLIS By Apollo, not I!

AMBASSADOR (TO THE PRYTANES) He says that the Great King will send you gold. Come, utter the word 'gold' louder and more distinctly.

PSEUDARTABAS Thou shalt not have gold, thou gaping-arsed Ionian.(1)

f(1) The Persians styled all Greeks 'Ionians' without distinction; here the Athenians are intended.

DICAEOPOLIS Ah! may the gods forgive me, but that is clear enough!

AMBASSADOR What does he say?

DICAEOPOLIS That the Ionians are debauchees and idiots, if they expect to receive gold from the barbarians.

AMBASSADOR Not so, he speaks of medimni(1) of gold.