Part 14

MEGARIAN Because it is quite young, but in good time it will have a big one, thick and red.

DICAEOPOLIS The two are as like as two peas.

MEGARIAN They are born of the same father and mother; let them be fattened, let them grow their bristles, and they will be the finest sows you can offer to Aphrodite.

DICAEOPOLIS But sows are not immolated to Aphrodite.

MEGARIAN Not sows to Aphrodite! Why, 'tis the only goddess to whom they are offered! the flesh of my sows will be excellent on the spit.

DICAEOPOLIS Can they eat alone? They no longer need their mother!

MEGARIAN Certainly not, nor their father.

DICAEOPOLIS What do they like most?

MEGARIAN Whatever is given them; but ask for yourself.

DICAEOPOLIS Speak! little sow.

DAUGHTER Wee-wee, wee-wee!

DICAEOPOLIS Can you eat chick-pease?

DAUGHTER Wee-wee, wee-wee, wee-wee!

DICAEOPOLIS And Attic figs?

DAUGHTER Wee-wee, wee-wee!

DICAEOPOLIS What sharp squeaks at the name of figs. Come, let some figs be brought for these little pigs. Will they eat them? Goodness! how they munch them, what a grinding of teeth, mighty Heracles! I believe those pigs hail from the land of the Voracians. But surely 'tis impossible they have bolted all the figs!

MEGARIAN Yes, certainly, bar this one that I took from them.

DICAEOPOLIS Ah! what funny creatures! For what sum will you sell them?

MEGARIAN I will give you one for a bunch of garlic, and the other, if you like, for a quart measure of salt.

DICAEOPOLIS I buy them of you. Wait for me here.

MEGARIAN The deal is done. Hermes, god of good traders, grant I may sell both my wife and my mother in the same way!

AN INFORMER Hi! fellow, what countryman are you?

MEGARIAN I am a pig-merchant from Megara.

INFORMER I shall denounce both your pigs and yourself as public enemies.

MEGARIAN Ah! here our troubles begin afresh!

INFORMER Let go that sack. I will punish your Megarian lingo!(1)

f(1) The Megarians used the Doric dialect.

MEGARIAN Dicaeopolis, Dicaeopolis, they want to denounce me.