Part 22

HE told to Matthew, (such the farmer's name,) His situation, character, and fame: By duns assailed, and harassed by a wife, Who proved the very torment of his life, He knew no place of safety to obtain, Like ent'ring other bodies, where 'twas plain, He might escape the catchpole's prowling eye, Honesta's wrath, and all her rage defy. From these he promised he would thrice retire; Whenever Matthew should the same desire: Thrice, but no more, t'oblige this worthy man, Who shelter gave when from the fiends he ran.

THE AMBASSADOR commenced his form to change:-- From human frame to frame he 'gan to range; But what became his own fantastick state, Our books are silent, nor the facts relate.

AN only daughter was the first he seized, Whose charms corporeal much our demon pleased; But Matthew, for a handsome sum of gold, Obliged him, at a word, to quit his hold. This passed at Naples--next to Rome he came, Where, with another fair, he did the same; But still the farmer banished him again, So well he could the devil's will restrain; Another weighty purse to him was paid Thrice Matthew drove him out from belle and maid.

THE king of Naples had a daughter fair, Admired, adored:--her parents' darling care; In wedlock oft by many princes sought; Within her form, the wily demon thought He might be sheltered from Honesta's rage; And none to drive him thence would dare engage.

NAUGHT else was talked of, in or out of town, But devils driven by the cunning clown; Large sums were offered, if, by any art, He'd make the demon from the fair depart.

AFFLICTED much was Matthew, now to lose The gold thus tendered, but he could not choose, For since Belphegor had obliged him thrice, He durst not hope the demon to entice; Poor man was he, a sinner, who, by chance, (He knew not how, it surely was romance,) Had some few devils, truly, driven out: Most worthy of contempt without a doubt. But all in vain:--the man they took by force; Proceed he must, or hanged he'd be of course.

THE demon was before our farmer placed; The sight was by the prince in person graced; The wond'rous contest numbers ran to see, And all the world spectators fain would be.

IF vanquished by the devil:--he must swing; If vanquisher:--'twould thousands to him bring: The gallows was, no doubt, a horrid view; Yet, at the purse, his glances often flew; The evil spirit laughed within his sleeve, To see the farmer tremble, fret, and grieve. He pleaded that the wight he'd thrice obeyed; The demon was by Matthew often prayed; But all in vain,--the more he terror showed, The more Belphegor ridicule bestowed.

AT length the clown was driven to declare, The fiend he was unable to ensnare; Away they Matthew to the gallows led; But as he went, it entered in his head, And, in a sort of whisper he averred (As was in fact the case) a drum he heard.

THE demon, with surprise, to Matthew cried; What noise is that? Honesta, he replied, Who you demands, and every where pursues, The spouse who treats her with such vile abuse.

THESE words were thunder to Belphegor's ears, Who instantly took flight, so great his fears; To hell's abyss he fled without delay, To tell adventures through the realms of day. Sire, said the demon, it is clearly true, Damnation does the marriage knot pursue. Your highness often hither sees arrive, Not squads, but regiments, who, when alive, By Hymen were indissolubly tied:-- In person I the fact have fully tried. Th' institution, perhaps, most just could be: Past ages far more happiness might see; But ev'ry thing, with time, corruption shows; No jewel in your crown more lustre throws.

BELPHEGOR'S tale by Satan was believed; Reward he got: the term, which-sorely grieved, Was now reduced; indeed, what had he done, That should prevent it?--If away he'd run, Who would not do the same who weds a shrew? Sure worse below the devil never knew! A brawling woman's tongue, what saint can bear? E'en Job, Honesta would have taught despair.

WHAT is the inference? you ask:--I'll tell;-- Live single, if you know you are well; But if old Hymen o'er your senses reign, Beware Honestas, or you'll rue the chain.

* By this character La Fontaine is supposed to have meant his own wife.

THE LITTLE BELL

HOW weak is man! how changeable his mind! His promises are naught, too oft we find; I vowed (I hope in tolerable verse,) Again no idle story to rehearse. And whence this promise?--Not two days ago; I'm quite confounded; better I should know: A rhymer hear then, who himself can boast, Quite steady for--a minute at the most. The pow'rs above could PRUDENCE ne'er design; For those who fondly court the SISTERS NINE. Some means to please they've got, you will confess; But none with certainty the charm possess. If, howsoever, I were doomed to find Such lines as fully would content the mind: Though I should fail in matter, still in art; I might contrive some pleasure to impart.

LET'S see what we are able to obtain:-- A bachelor resided in Touraine. A sprightly youth, who oft the maids beset, And liked to prattle to the girls he met, With sparkling eyes, white teeth, and easy air, Plain russet petticoat and flowing hair, Beside a rivulet, while Io round, With little bell that gave a tinkling sound, On herbs her palate gratified at will, And gazed and played, and fondly took her fill.

AMONG the rustic nymphs our spark perceived A charming girl, for whom his bosom heaved; Too young, however, to feel the poignant smart, By Cupid oft inflicted on the heart. I will not say thirteen's an age unfit The contrary most fully I admit; The LAW supposes (such its prudent fears) Maturity at still more early years; But this apparently refers to towns, While LOVE was born for groves, and lawns, and downs.

THE youth exerted ev'ry art to please; But all in vain: he only seemed to teaze: Whate'er he said, however nicely graced, Ill-humour, inexperience, or distaste, Induced the belle, unlearned in Cupid's book; To treat his passion with a froward look.

BELIEVING ev'ry artifice in love Was tolerated by the pow'rs above, One eve he turned a heifer from the rest; Conducted by the girl his thoughts possessed; The others left, not counted by the fair, (Youth seldom shows the necessary care,) With easy, loit'ring steps the cottage sought, Where ev'ry night they usually were brought.

HER mother, more experienced than the maid, Observed, that from the cattle one had strayed; The girl was scolded much, and sent to find The heifer indiscreetly left behind. Fair Isabella gave a vent to tears; Invoked sweet echo to disperse her fears: Solicited with fervent, piercing cry, To tell her where lorn Io she might spy, Whose little bell the spark deprived of sound; When he withdrew her from the herd around.

THE lover now the tinkling metal shook; The path that t'wards it led the charmer took. The well known note was pleasing to her ear; Without suspecting treachery was near, She followed to a wood, both deep and large, In hopes at least she might regain her charge.

GUESS her surprise, good reader, when she heard, A lover's voice, who would not be deterred. Said he, fair maid whene'er the heart's on fire, 'Tis all permitted that can quench desire. On this, with piercing cries she rent the air; But no one came:--she sunk to dire despair.

YE beauteous dames avoid the Sylvan shade; Dread dangers solitary woods pervade.

THE GLUTTON

A STURGEON, once, a glutton famed was led To have for supper--all, except the head. With wond'rous glee he feasted on the fish; And quickly swallowed down the royal dish. O'ercharged, howe'er, his stomach soon gave way; And doctors were required without delay.

THE danger imminent, his friends desired He'd settle ev'ry thing affairs required. Said he, in that respect I'm quite prepared; And, since my time so little is declared, With diligence, I earnestly request, The sturgeon's head you'll get me nicely dressed.

THE TWO FRIENDS