Part 19

THE same in other words, I've often said; 'Tis right, at times, disguise with care to spread. The maxim's good, and with it I agree: My motto ever is--VARIETY.

A CERTAIN spouse the same devise had got, Whose wife by all was thought a handsome lot. His love, howe'er, was over very soon; It lasted only through the honeymoon; Possession had his passion quite destroyed; In Hymen's bands too oft the lover 's cloyed.

ONE, 'mong his valets, had a pretty wife; The master was himself quite full of life, And soon the charmer to his wishes drew, With which the husband discontented grew, And having caught them in the very fact, He rang his mate the changes for the act; Sad names he called her, howsoever just, A silly blockhead! thus to raise a dust, For what, in ev'ry town 's so common found; May we worse fortune never meet around!

HE made the paramour a grave harangue Don't others give, said he, the poignant pang; But ev'ry one allow to keep his own, As God and reason oft to man have shown, And recommended fully to observe; You from it surely have not cause to swerve; You cannot plead that you for beauty pine You've one at home who far surpasses mine; No longer give yourself such trouble, pray: You, to my help-mate, too much honour pay; Such marked attentions she can ne'er require Let each of us, alone his own admire. To others' WELLs you never ought to go, While your's with sweets is found to overflow; I willingly appeal to connoisseurs; If heav'n had blessed me with such bliss as your's, That when I please, your lady I could take, I would not for a queen such charms forsake. But since we can't prevent what now is known, I wish, good sir, contented with your own, (And 'tis, I hope, without offence I speak,) You'll favours from my wife no longer seek.

THE master, neither no nor yes replied, But orders gave, his man they should provide; For dinner ev'ry day, what pleased his taste, A pie of eels, which near him should be placed.

HIS appetite at first was wond'rous great; Again, the second time, as much he ate; But when the third appeared, he felt disgust, And not another morsel down could thrust. The valet fain would try a diff'rent dish; 'Twas not allowed;--you've got, said they, your wish; 'Tis pie alone; you like it best you know, And no objection you must dare to show.

I'M surfeited, cried he, 'tis far too much: Pie ev'ry day! and nothing else to touch! Not e'en a roasted eel, or stewed, or fried! Dry bread I'd rather you'd for me provide. Of your's allow me some at any rate, Pies, (devil take them!) thoroughly I hate; They'll follow me to Paradise I fear, Or further yet;--Heav'n keep me from such cheer!

THEIR noisy mirth the master thither drew, Who much desired the frolick to pursue; My friend, said he, I greatly feel surprise, That you so soon are weary grown of pies; Have I not heard you frequently declare, Eel-pie 's of all, the most delicious fare? Quite fickle, certainly, must be your taste; Can any thing in me so strange be traced? When I exchange a food which you admire; You blame and say, I never ought to tire; You do the very same; in truth, my friend, No mark of folly 'tis, you may depend, In lord or squire, or citizen or clown, To change the bread that's white for bit of brown: With more experience, you'll with me agree,-- My motto ever is--VARIETY.

WHEN thus the master had himself expressed, The valet presently was less distressed; Some arguments, howe'er, at first he used; For, after all--are fully we excused, When we our pleasure solely have in view; Without regarding what's to others due? I relish change; well, take it; but 'tis best, To gain the belles with love of gold possessed; And that appears to me the proper plan; In truth, our lover very soon began To practise this advice;--his voice and way Could angel-sweetness instantly convey.

HIS words were always gilt; (impressive tongue!) To gilded words will sure success belong. In soft amours they're ev'ry thing 'tis plain The maxim 's certain, and our aim will gain; My meaning doubtless easily is seen; A hundred times repeated this has been Th' impression should be made so very deep, That I thereon can never silence keep; And this the constant burden of my song-- To gilded words will sure success belong.

THEY easily persuade the beauteous dame; Her dog, her maid, duenna, all the same; The husband sometimes too, and him we've shown 'Twas necessary here to gain alone; By golden eloquence his soul was lulled; Although from ancient orators not culled: Their books retained have nothing of the kind; Our jealous spouse indulgent grew we find. He followed e'en, 'tis said, the other's plan-- And, thence his dishes to exchange began.

THE master and his fav'rite's freaks around; Continually the table-talk were found; He always thought the newest face the best: Where'er he could, each beauty he caressed; The wife, the widow, daughter, servant-maid, The nymph of field or town:--with all he played; And, while he breathed, the same would always be; His motto ever was--VARIETY.

THE MAGNIFICENT

SOME wit, handsome form and gen'rous mind; A triple engine prove in love we find; By these the strongest fortresses are gained E'en rocks 'gainst such can never be sustained. If you've some talents, with a pleasing face, Your purse-strings open free, and you've the place. At times, no doubt, without these things, success Attends the gay gallant, we must confess; But then, good sense should o'er his actions rule; At all events, he must not be a fool. The stingy, women ever will detest; Words puppies want;--the lib'ral are the best.

A Florentine, MAGNIFICENT by name, Was what we've just described, in fact and fame; The title was bestowed upon the knight, For noble deeds performed by him in fight. The honour ev'ry way he well deserved; His upright conduct (whence he never swerved,) Expensive equipage, and presents made, Proclaimed him all around what we've pourtrayed.

WITH handsome person and a pleasing mien, Gallant, a polished air, and soul serene; A certain fair of noble birth he sought, Whose conquest, doubtless, brilliant would be thought; Which in our lover doubly raised desire; Renown and pleasure lent his bosom fire.

THE jealous husband of the beauteous fair Was Aldobrandin, whose suspicious care Resembled more, what frequently is shown For fav'rites mistresses, than wives alone. He watched her every step with all his eyes; A hundred thousand scarcely would suffice; Indeed, quite useless Cupid these can make; And Argus oft is subject to mistake: Repeatedly they're duped, although our wight, (Who fancied he in ev'ry thing was right,) Himself so perfectly secure believed, By gay gallants he ne'er could be deceived.

TO suitors, howsoe'er, he was not blind; To covet presents, greatly he inclined. The lover yet had no occasion found, To drop a word to charms so much renowned; He thought his passion was not even seen; And if it had, would things have better been? What would have followed? what had been the end? The reader needs no hint to comprehend.

BUT to return to our forlorn gallant, Whose bosom for the lady's 'gan to pant; He, to his doctor, not a word had said; Now here, now there, he tried to pop his head. But neither door nor window could he find, Where he might glimpse the object of his mind, Or even hear her voice, or sound her name; No fortress had he ever found the same; Yet still to conquer he was quite resolved, And oft the manner in his mind revolved. This plan at length he thought would best succeed, To execute it doubtless he had need Of ev'ry wily art he could devise, Surrounded as he was by eagle-eyes.

I THINK the reader I've already told, Our husband loved rich presents to behold; Though none he made, yet all he would receive; Whate'er was offered he would never leave.

MAGNIFICENT a handsome horse had got, It ambled well, or cantered, or would trot; He greatly valued it, and for its pace, 'Twas called the Pad; it stept with wond'rous grace: By Aldobrandin it was highly praised; Enough was this: the knight's fond hopes were raised; Who offered to exchange, but t'other thought, He in a barter might perhaps be caught. 'Tis not, said he, that I the horse refuse; But I, in trucking, never fail to lose.

ON this, Magnificent, who saw his aim; Replied, well, well, a better scheme we'll frame; No changing we'll allow, but you'll permit, That for the horse, I with your lady sit, You present all the while, 'tis what I want; I'm curious, I confess, and fort it pant. Besides, your friends assuredly should know What mind, what sentiments may from her flow. Just fifteen minutes, I no more desire: What! cried the other, you my wife require? No, no, pray keep your horse, that won't be right. But you'll be present, said the courteous knight. And what of that? rejoined the wily spouse. Why, cried Magnificent, then naught should rouse Your fears or cares, for how can ill arise, While watched by you, possessed of eagle-eyes?

THE husband 'gan to turn it in his mind; Thought he, if present, what can be designed? The plan is such as dissipates my fears; The offer advantageous too appears; He's surely mad; I can't conceive his aim; But, to secure myself and wife from shame; Without his knowledge, I'll forbid the fair Her lips to open, and for this prepare.

COME, cried old Aldobrandin, I'll consent: But, said the other, recollect 'tis meant, So distant from us, all the while you stay, That not a word you hear of what I say. Agreed, rejoined the husband:--let's begin; Away he flew, and brought the lady in.

WHEN our gallant the charming belle perceived; Elysium seemed around, he half believed. The salutations o'er, they went and sat Together in a corner, where their chat Could not be heard, if they to talk inclined; Our brisk gallant no long harangues designed, But to the point advanced without delay; Cried he, I've neither time nor place to say What I could wish, and useless 'twere to seek Expressions that but indirectly speak The sentiments which animate the soul; In terms direct, 'tis better state the whole.

THUS circumstanced, fair lady, let me, pray; To you at once, my adoration pay; No words my admiration can express; Your charms enslave my senses, I confess; Can you suppose to answer would be wrong? Too much good sense to you should now belong; Had I the leisure, I'd in form disclose The tender flame with which my bosom glows; Each horrid torment; but by Fate denied Blessed opportunities, let me not hide, While moments offer, what pervades my heart, And openly avow the burning smart Few minutes I have got to travel o'er What gen'rally requires six months or more. Cold is that lover who will not pursue, With ev'ry ardour, beauty, when in view. But why this silence?--not a word you say! You surely will not send me thus away! That heav'n, an angel made you, none deny; But still, to what is asked you should reply. Your husband this contrived I plainly see, Who fancies that replies were not to be, Since in our bargain they were never named; For shuffling conduct he was ever famed; But I'll come round him, spite of all his art; I can reply for you, and from the heart, Since I can read your wishes in your eyes; 'Tis thus to say--Good, sir, I would advise That you regard me, not as marble cold; Your various tournaments and actions bold, Your serenades, and gen'ral conduct prove, What tender sentiments your bosom move.

YOUR fond affection constantly I praised, And quickly felt a flame within me raised; Yet what avails?--Oh, that I'll soon disclose; Since we agree, allow me to propose, Our mutual wishes we enjoy to-night; And turn to ridicule that jealous Wight; In short, reward him for his wily fear, In watching us so very closely here. Your garden will be quite the thing, I guess; Go thither, pray, and never fear success; Depend upon it, soon his country seat Your spouse will visit:--then the hunks we'll cheat. When plunged in sleep the grave duennas lie, Arise, furred gown put on, and quickly fly; With careful steps you'll to the garden haste; I've got a ladder ready to be placed Against the wall which joins your neighbour's square: I've his permission thither to repair; 'Tis better than the street:--fear naught my dove.-- Ah! dear Magnificent, my fondest love; As you desire, I'll readily proceed; My heart is your's: we fully are agreed. 'T's you who speaks, and, would that in my arms Permission I had got to clasp your charms!

MAGNIFICENT (for her he now replied,) This flame you'll soon no reason have to hide Through dread or fear of my old jealous fool, Who wisely fancies he can woman rule.