Part 10

A CERTAIN husband who, from jealous fear, With one eye slept while t'other watched his dear, Deprived his wife of every social joy, (Friends oft the jealous character annoy,) And made a fine collection in a book, Of tricks with which the sex their wishes hook. Strange fool! as if their wiles, to speak the truth, Were not a hydra, both in age and youth.

HIS wife howe'er engaged his constant cares; He counted e'en the number of her hairs; And kept a hag who followed every hour, Where'er she went, each motion to devour; Duenna like, true semblance of a shade, That never quits, yet moves as if afraid.

THIS arch collection, like a prayer-book bound; Was in the blockhead's pocket always found, The form religious of the work, he thought, Would prove a charm 'gainst vice whenever sought!

ONE holy day, it happened that our dame, As from the neighb'ring church she homeward came; And passed a house, some wight, concealed from view; A basket full of filth upon her threw.

WITH anxious care apologies were made; The lady, frightened by the frolick played, Quite unsuspicious to the mansion went; Her aged friend for other clothes she sent, Who hurried home, and ent'ring out of breath; Informed old hunks--what pained him more than death

ZOUNDS! cried the latter, vainly I may look To find a case like this within my book; A dupe I'm made, and nothing can be worse:-- Hell seize the work--'tis thoroughly a curse!

NOT wrong he proved, for, truly to confess; This throwing dirt upon the lady's dress Was done to get the hag, with Argus' eyes Removed a certain distance from the prize. The gay gallant, who watched the lucky hour, Felt doubly blessed to have her in his power.

HOW vain our schemes to guard the wily sex! Oft plots we find, that ev'ry sense perplex. Go, jealous husbands, books of cases burn; Caresses lavish, and you'll find return.

THE GASCON PUNISHED

A GASCON (being heard one day to swear, That he'd possess'd a certain lovely fair,) Was played a wily trick, and nicely served; 'Twas clear, from truth he shamefully had swerved: But those who scandal propagate below, Are prophets thought, and ev'ry action know; While good, if spoken, scarcely is believed, And must be viewed, or not for truth received.

THE dame, indeed, the Gascon only jeered, And e'er denied herself when he appeared; But when she met the wight, who sought to shine; And called her angel, beauteous and divine, She fled and hastened to a female friend, Where she could laugh, and at her ease unbend.

NEAR Phillis, (our fair fugitive) there dwelled One Eurilas, his nearest neighbour held; His wife was Cloris; 'twas with her our dove Took shelter from the Gascon's forward love, Whose name was Dorilas; and Damon young, (The Gascon's friend) on whom gay Cloris hung.

SWEET Phillis, by her manner, you might see, From sly amours and dark intrigues was free; The value to possess her no one knew, Though all admired the lovely belle at view. Just twenty years she counted at the time, And now a widow was, though in her prime, (Her spouse, an aged dotard, worth a plum:-- Of those whose loss to mourn no tears e'er come.)

OUR seraph fair, such loveliness possessed, In num'rous ways a Gascon could have blessed; Above, below, appeared angelic charms; 'Twas Paradise, 'twas Heav'n, within her arms!

THE Gascon was--a Gascon;--would you more? Who knows a Gascon knows at least a score. I need not say what solemn vows he made; Alike with Normans Gascons are portrayed; Their oaths, indeed, won't pass for Gospel truth; But we believe that Dorilas (the youth) Loved Phillis to his soul, our lady fair, Yet he would fain be thought successful there.

ONE day, said Phillis, with unusual glee, Pretending with the Gascon to be free:-- A favour do me:--nothing very great; Assist to dupe one jealous of his mate; You'll find it very easy to be done, And doubtless 'twill produce a deal of fun. 'Tis our request (the plot you'll say is deep,) That you this night with Cloris's husband sleep Some disagreement with her gay gallant Requires, that she a night at least should grant, To settle diff'rences; now we desire, That you'll to bed with Eurilas retire, There's not a doubt he'll think his Cloris near; He never touches her:--so nothing fear; For whether jealousy, or other pains, He constantly from intercourse abstains, Snores through the night, and, if a cap he sees, Believes his wife in bed, and feels at ease. We'll properly equip you as a belle, And I will certainly reward you well.

TO gain but Phillis's smiles, the Gascon said, He'd with the very devil go to bed.

THE night arrived, our wight the chamber traced; The lights extinguished; Eurilas, too, placed; The Gascon 'gan to tremble in a trice, And soon with terror grew as cold as ice; Durst neither spit nor cough; still less encroach; And seemed to shrink, least t'other should approach; Crept near the edge; would scarcely room afford, And could have passed the scabbard of a sword.

OFT in the night his bed-fellow turned round; At length a finger on his nose he found, Which Dorilas exceedingly distressed; But more inquietude was in his breast, For fear the husband amorous should grow, From which incalculable ills might flow.

OUR Gascon ev'ry minute knew alarm; 'Twas now a leg stretched out, and then an arm; He even thought he felt the husband's beard; But presently arrived what more he feared.

A BELL, conveniently, was near the bed, Which Eurilas to ring was often led; At this the Gascon swooned, so great his fear, And swore, for ever he'd renounce his dear. But no one coming, Eurilas, once more, Resumed his place, and 'gan again to snore.

AT length, before the sun his head had reared; The door was opened, and a torch appeared. Misfortune then he fancied full in sight; More pleased he'd been to rise without a light, And clearly thought 'twas over with him now; The flame approached;--the drops ran o'er his brow; With terror he for pardon humbly prayed:-- You have it, cried a fair: be not dismayed; 'Twas Phillis spoke, who Eurilas's place Had filled, throughout the night, with wily grace, And now to Damon and his Cloris flew, With ridicule the Gascon to pursue; Recounted all the terrors and affright, Which Dorilas had felt throughout the night. To mortify still more the silly swain, And fill his soul with ev'ry poignant pain, She gave a glimpse of beauties to his view, And from his presence instantly withdrew.

THE PRINCESS BETROTHED TO THE KING OF GARBA

WHAT various ways in which a thing is told Some truth abuse, while others fiction hold; In stories we invention may admit; But diff'rent 'tis with what historick writ; Posterity demands that truth should then Inspire relation, and direct the pen.

ALACIEL'S story's of another kind, And I've a little altered it, you'll find; Faults some may see, and others disbelieve; 'Tis all the same:--'twill never make me grieve; Alaciel's mem'ry, it is very clear, Can scarcely by it lose; there's naught to fear. Two facts important I have kept in view, In which the author fully I pursue; The one--no less than eight the belle possessed, Before a husband's sight her eyes had blessed; The other is, the prince she was to wed Ne'er seemed to heed this trespass on his bed, But thought, perhaps, the beauty she had got Would prove to any one a happy lot.

HOWE'ER this fair, amid adventures dire, More sufferings shared than malice could desire; Though eight times, doubtless, she exchanged her knight No proof, that she her spouse was led to slight; 'Twas gratitude, compassion, or good will; The dread of worse;--she'd truly had her fill; Excuses just, to vindicate her fame, Who, spite of troubles, fanned the monarch's flame: Of eight the relict, still a maid received;-- Apparently, the prince her pure believed; For, though at times we may be duped in this, Yet, after such a number--strange to miss! And I submit to those who've passed the scene, If they, to my opinion, do not lean.

THE king of Alexandria, Zarus named, A daughter had, who all his fondness claimed, A star divine Alaciel shone around, The charms of beauty's queen were in her found; With soul celestial, gracious, good, and kind, And all-accomplished, all-complying mind.

THE rumour of her worth spread far and wide, The king of Garba asked her for his bride, And Mamolin (the sov'reign of the spot,) To other princes had a pref'rence got.