Part 25

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They say that gymnasium statistics show a steady increase in the size of women’s waists. In that case something should be done to bring about a steady increase in the length of men’s arms.

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The anti-suffragists are having a good deal of fun because the papers tell of a California mayor who does the family washing. Maybe he runs a laundry. Men are doing most of the family washings nowadays.

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Andre de Fouquieres, who has come over from Paris to teach American men how to dress by lecturing at afternoon teas, says, “New York is the finishing touch of the world.” Glad it looks that way. So many seem to come over for the purpose of making a finishing touch.

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An eminent London scientist asserts that the points which distinguish the human race from the beasts are more marked in woman than in man. “For instance,” he says, “her ear is more human than a man’s.” Maybe so; certainly she doesn’t so often show the length of it.

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The Fathers’ and Mothers’ Club of one of the Eastern cities farthest along in the science of eugenics has issued instructions to young men contemplating matrimony to study the mother, as the daughter is likely to be an exact copy. Suppose a girl is advised to study the father on the same principle—won’t that put an end to marriage?

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Now the suffrage societies of Canada have united in a National Franchise Association and Great Britain will soon have another lot of daughters who can outvote their mother.

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Congress is considering a bill to give the suffrage to the men of Porto Rico. Can it be that there are any males under the jurisdiction of the United States without a vote? Shelve all other measures before Congress until this terrible wrong has been righted!

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The women who have been running for office in those Western States have drawn the line on kissing babies, saying that they are too well versed in hygiene to commit that crime. As has been remarked, women are entirely too much given to sentiment to be allowed to vote.

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Anti-suffrage literature declares that the enfranchisement of women will “efface the natural differentiation of function between the two sexes.” Oh, no, it won’t! Nature can’t be effaced and the differentiation will go right on differentiating just the same.

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What a queer way they have in Great Britain of encouraging matrimony! There are about a million more women than men, but when the Canadian government begged that some of the women might be sent over as wives for the English immigrants, the authorities in England vetoed it because the women were needed to work in the cotton mills.

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Perhaps in the U.S. women should not vote because they cannot fight but the man in England who said this would have to run to cover.

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“We believe that political equality will deprive us of special privileges hitherto accorded us by law,” cry the anti-suffragists. How very sad! Will they please name one or two special privileges that the women have lost in those States where they can vote?

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The government is closing all the saloons on the reservations to protect the Indians, and the Southern Legislatures are passing drastic temperance laws to protect the negroes. It seems to be left to the women to demand measures for the protection of the white men.

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A Missouri legislator has introduced a bill that the buttons on the back of a woman’s dress shall be as large as a silver quarter. Some time when those women legislators out West cannot find anything else to do they will introduce a bill that men shall cease wearing any buttons at all on the back and cuffs of their coat.