Part 18

When she told her friends of her new freedom, they said, "Great! Let's celebrate and get drunk."

"Yeah, why not?" she replied. "I can do anything I want." So she drank and laughed and vomited and passed out on the bathroom floor.

A little while later, she met an older girl who seemed to be experienced in the ways of freedom. "Hey," said the older girl, "to be free, just take these pills and free your mind from all your cares." So the teenage girl took the pills and felt strange and didn't sleep for three days and then closed her eyes and woke up in the middle of the following week.

Another time she met a young man who seemed to know about the free life. "Let me help to liberate you," he said, putting his arm around her. And so they went to his van and drove to a vacant lot where the young man kissed her and "liberated" her and told her to leave and drove away.

Many days later--days that passed without recognition or remembrance--the girl found herself sitting on a bench waiting for a bus in the middle of the desert. As she sat there gazing at the distant mountains, conscious of little more than the rising heat, she heard herself say, "I don't know what to do."

"Whatever you do will be foolish," said a voice from behind her.

"What?" the girl asked with some surprise, not sure whether she was listening to a person or a hallucination. The voice was that of an old woman with bony hands.

"Good decisions come from good values," continued the old woman, as she watched her knitting rather than the girl. "You have thrown your values away and so your decisions are poor."

"But I wanted to be free," the girl answered.

"There is no freedom without rules," the woman said. "Without rules there is only slavery."

"You know nothing about me," said the girl, her anger rising. "I'm not a slave to anyone. And I can do anything I want to. So just be quiet."

As she got on the bus to yet one more destination, the girl turned back to the old woman and said, "I'm sorry I got mad. The truth is, I'd do anything to be happy for one hour."

"That pretty well sums up your entire problem," the old woman said.

Two Conversations on Direction

"And then you turn here to the right."

"Really? No, I don't think so. The left path must be the way. It's more attractive, and it somehow just feels right."

"I'm sorry, but you have to take the fork to the right. See the little sign pointing the way?"

"Yes, but something just tells me the left fork is the one to take. The ground looks better, and that tree up ahead seems so persuasive."

"Well, I ought to know the way to my own house. There is only one way, along the right path."

"Uh uh. The right path looks bad. I just can't believe it leads to your house. You probably don't remember correctly."

"You'll get lost if you don't come this way. The other fork dead ends. The only thing there is a swamp, a pit, and a snake."

"It can't be. It looks so well traveled. And I have such a feeling that it will take me to your house; I've got to try it."

* * *

"Hi. Hop in."

"Thanks, I appreciate the ride."

"No problem. Where are you going?"

"I don't know. That's what I want to find out. Where are you going?"

"To San Diego."