CHAPTER XVI. Be Careful of Your Company

BE CAREFUL OF YOUR COMPANY

There is a well established rule, by which one is judged by the company he keeps. No word of explanation need be given, for the companions he selects and in whose circle he moves speak louder than words. The choice of associates is a very important one. As in a vitiated air, it is hard for a strong constitution to escape sickness, so however firm and settled a boy’s principles might be, there is danger of losing them by the influence and example of corrupt companions.

It is said to be a property of the tree-frog to acquire the color of any object to which it adheres for a short time. Thus if found on growing corn it is commonly a dark green, and if found on the white oak, it has the color peculiar to that tree. Just so is it with boys. One usually resembles those with whom he associates and becomes like them. Unconsciously he takes on their image, thinks and acts like them, and is a just photograph of them. If the companions are of high moral standard they will prove a blessing, but if slovenly and unclean in appearance, unbecoming in language, impolite in action, they will be a curse. The boy who associates with these invites an unsavory reputation; and sooner or later, no matter what excellent qualities he may have, will be contaminated as is silver when kept in contact with copper.

IMPOSSIBLE TO BE GOOD AND KEEP BAD COMPANY.

In no little degree is one influenced by the speech, manners and habits of companions. “Is example nothing?” asks Edmund Burke. “It is everything. Example is the school of mankind, and it will learn at no other,” he answers. It is because of this that many lawbreakers come from the best families through evil associations. “May it please the Court,” said a convicted criminal when asked if he had anything to say before sentence of death was passed upon him, “bad company has been my ruin. I received the blessings of good parents, and in return promised to avoid all evil associations. Had I kept my promise, I should have been saved from this shame and been free from the load of guilt that rests upon me. I, who once moved in good society, am lost, and all through evil companions.” Many inexperienced boys form the idea that by associating with rough, fast lads they might influence them to be better, or by seeing the evil effects would learn to abhor wickedness the more. These thoughts are foolish in the extreme, and if put into practice, deprave nine times out of ten.

There is a poisonous reptile mentioned in “In Tropical Africa” that has lived so long in a certain colored gravel that it has taken on the exact color, so that a traveler cannot distinguish the one from the other unless the reptile moves. To come in contact with it is to risk one’s life. So the boy who wilfully courts the company of the bad risks the safety of his character, for “vice,” as Pope said,

“—is a monster with such frightful mien, As to be hated, needs but to be seen; Yet, seen too oft, familiar with its face, We first endure, then pity, then embrace.”

Chemists tell us that one grain of iodine imparts color to seven thousand grains of water. One bad boy may do more to injure one’s character in a day than a lifetime can remedy. Goodness and badness will associate no more than light and darkness. A rotten apple will corrupt a barrel of good ones, but a barrel of good ones will not restore a rotten one. Separation is the only safe plan.

THE ENCHANTER AND THE YOUTH.

A great magician once took a company of Bavarian youths to a lonely place and entertained them at their request with his incantations. He drew a circle around them with his sword and warned them not to leave or break over on any account. By his first incantation he surrounded them with armed men, who dared them to conflict, but none of them would be lured or drawn beyond the line he had made with his sword. By the second enchantment he surrounded them with a company of beautiful damsels, who tried every power of attraction they could command. One of the dancing damsels whose beauty exceeded that of the others, advanced to one of the young men and with her enchantments had such an effect upon him that he entirely forgot the restriction and stretched forth his finger beyond the circle to receive the ring which she offered to place upon it. At once she seized him and drew him after her, and it was only through difficulty that he was rescued. What an illustration! This circle is the rule of right, the armed men pride and passion, and the charmer a fair representative of intemperance, vice and sensuality. The only safety for a boy is within the circle of right. To step over its boundary is to enter the domain of wrong. It is being enticed onto enchanted ground where evil lurks in every flower, poison hides in every drink and death watches beside every path. O my son, “If sinners entice thee, consent thou not. Walk not in the way with them. Refrain thy foot from their path,” and when they bid thee “cast in thy lot among us,” have the courage to refuse.

COMPANY NOT TO KEEP.

Avoid vulgar companions. Vulgarity is like a blot on a clean sheet of paper. Though it does not destroy the whole sheet, it damages and discounts it to such an extent, that it is often cast aside as worthless.

Avoid lazy companions. The “do-nothings” are usually the “good-for-nothings.” They are of little use to themselves or anyone else. Industrious people shun them and the ambitious have no respect for them. Many a man who might have been rich and honorable has spent his last days in the penitentiary or poor-house because the early days were spent in idleness. Idleness is the mother of almost every crime, and he who fellowships the idler runs the risk of being criminal. Then

“Eschew the idle life! Flee, flee, from doing naught; For never was there idle brain But bred an idle thought.”

Avoid sceptical companions. Making religion a mockery is a bad trait in any boy and the sooner his room is considered better than his company, the sooner will the boy be protected from the impure and irreligious. He who neglects the house of God, desecrates the Sabbath and laughs at others who are inclined to be pious is not the right kind of company to keep.

An overseer in a mill found a pin which cost the company nearly five hundred dollars. “Was it stolen?” asked an employe. “Was it a diamond pin?” “Oh, no,” answered the overseer, “it was just such a pin as we use without stint. You see, it happened this way. Calicoes, after they are printed, washed and dried, are smoothed by being pressed over heated rollers. By some mischance, a pin dropped so as to lie upon the principal roller, and became wedged in it, the head standing out a little from the surface. Over and over went the roller, and round and round went the cloth, winding at length on another roller, until the piece was measured off. Then another piece began to be dried and wound, and so on until a hundred pieces had been counted. These were not examined immediately, but removed from the machinery and laid aside. When at length they came to be inspected, it was found that there were holes in every piece throughout the web, and only three-quarters of a yard apart. The pieces averaged about forty yards, which at twelve and a half cents a yard amounted to about five hundred dollars. Of course the goods could not be classed as perfect, so they were sold as remnants at about half the price they would have brought had it not been for that hidden pin.”

Thus it is when a boy takes for his companion one whose language is not the most savory, who is inclined to be lazy and sceptical, that he does himself a moral injury which increases with the association. Evil seed is planted in his mind, which, as Seneca said, “is sure to spring up in future resurrection,” discounting his reputation and damaging his character beyond repair.

THE KIND OF COMPANY TO KEEP.

No boy can be too cautious with whom he associates, and

“Without good company, all dainties Lose their true relish, and like painted grapes, Are only seen, not tasted.”

Would you acquire a good reputation? Seek the companionship of good boys. Good begets good. “Flowers planted by the rose smell of the rose.” “Companionship with the wise never fails to have a most valuable influence on the formation of character, increasing resources, strengthening resolves, elevating aims, and enabling one to exercise greater dexterity and ability in his affairs, as well as more effective helpfulness to others.” Thus Allan Cunningham when learning the trade of a stone-mason in Nithsdale, walked all the way to Edinburgh that he might see the face of Sir Walter Scott as he passed along the street. Sir Joshua Reynolds, when a lad of only ten, thrust his hand through a crowd of people that he might touch the Pope—the greatest living person to his mind. Fox acknowledged very frequently his indebtedness to the example and conversation of Edmund Burke; Tyndall speaks of Faraday as a great energy to his life, and later wrote, “His works excite admiration, but contact with him warms and elevates the heart.” Carlyle said, “Hero-worship exists, has existed, and will forever exist, universally among mankind.” Haydn’s hero was Sir Joshua Reynolds; Rogers the poet had his hero in the person of Dr. Samuel Johnson; Hallam his in Tennyson; Tennyson’s was William Ewart Gladstone, and Henry Martyn’s was a big boy who defended him from others who picked on him, and who assisted him in his studies at Cambridge. Unknown to the world the great missionary acknowledged that this boy kept and defended him from evil associates and inspired his soul with the love of truth and the work for which he was called upon to sacrifice his life.

My boy, choose carefully your associates. “Seek at the first,” as Marshall Field wrote, “to cultivate the acquaintance of those only whose contact and influence will kindle high purposes, as I regard the building up of a sterling character as one of the fundamental principles of true success.” See to it that they are modest, studious, truthful, moral; shunning evil places, avoiding questionable amusements, without bad habits and in conduct exemplary. Choose “your superiors if possible, your equals at least, your inferiors never.” Associate with boys who will foster your piety and who will make you wiser and nobler. Lord Brooks so esteemed the friendship of Sir Philip Sydney that he chose for his epitaph: “Here lies Sir Philip Sydney’s friend.”

“Be careful in choosing companions; Seek only the brave and the true; And stand by your friends when in trial, Ne’er changing the old for the new. And when by false friends you are tempted To do things wrong, which you know, With firmness, with patience and kindness, Have courage, my boy, to say, ‘No!’”