Part 78

CONFIRMATION.

In the Episcopal, Lutheran and Roman Catholic churches, "Confirmation is the sequel of baptism." Here comes in one of the duties of the godparents, and should the child become orphaned, or should its parents by reason of carelessness, or irreligion, neglect this important matter, the church holds the godparents in a large measure responsible that these children be brought before the Bishop for confirmation.

Some weeks prior to the arrival of the Bishop, persons desirous of admission to the church present their names to the clergymen, and classes are formed of instruction and preparation for the solemn event.

The ceremony of the confirmation service is in accordance with the forms of the church in which it is observed. The only uniformity being in the garb of the young candidates. This for the girls is always gowns of purest white, with gloves and shoes to match. White bound prayer-books should be carried, and in the Roman Catholic and the Lutheran churches white veils and wreaths crown the young heads. For the youths, black suits, black ties and gloves are the proper thing.

GRADUATION.

With the important event of graduation ends the three great ceremonies of youth. The church and the school have both set their seal upon the young man and maiden, and the business world and the social world are waiting to receive them.

In the matter of dress for this important event, the young man is supposed to confine himself to conventional black with white tie. The young girl is usually in white, with gloves, shoes, hose and fan to match.

This, however, depends upon the taste of the class, as they expect to dress alike, and often select some other delicate shade of color for the class costume.

Avoid all Extravagance.

There is one thing to be remembered--that is, that too much extravagance should not be displayed in the selection and adornments of the gown for the occasion. In the first place, simplicity is the prerogative of youth. In the second, it is bad taste to overload a young schoolgirl with expensive materials and lavish ornaments. In the third, there will always be found in every graduating class one or more students to whose purse the expenses incident upon the school course have been a heavy drain, and to whom compliance with the style of dress worn by other members of the class will mean a serious strain upon the home exchequer, or the incurring of a debt for the future, while to dress as their purse affords requires more self-denial than an outsider realizes. The slights, the sneers of insolent classmates have driven more than one sensitive soul to solitude and tears, and clouded what should have been the bright beginning of life with sorrow and anger.

Directors of schools have more than once striven to do away with this abuse of the occasion by prescribing the dress to be worn, but with poor success, since sumptuary laws are not kindly received in this free country.

Now, the remedy lies in the hands of the girls themselves, and with their parents. Let it be once understood that such a display is the mark of social parvenus, of the newly-rich, and the custom will cease to exist.

Friends bring flowers to the place of graduation which are sent up, either by the ushers, who are chosen among intimates of the classmates, or by tiny boys dressed as pages. These floral offerings have come to be so extensive that the stage is often banked with the beautiful blossoms. Here, too, is another abuse. To those who have few friends, and less money, the absence of these remembrances is often so marked as to cause many a heartache.

Cards with the donor's name and the words, "Congratulations," or "Graduation Congratulations," penned in one corner, are tied with narrow ribbons to these gifts. Presents of a more substantial nature are also sent up; books, watches, jewels, etc., and have a more lasting remembrance than the fleeting blossoms. One of the prettiest floral gifts seen on an occasion of graduation was a graceful ship, white sailed, and lovely, all of fragrant flowers, and full freighted with the hopes and prayers for the young legal graduate, who was sole son of the house.

Carriages convey the graduates to and from the hall, and a class reception is supposed to finish the long round of the gaieties of "Class Week."

Etiquette of Funerals and Mourning

The great sorrow brought upon a family by the death of a loved one renders the immediate members of the family incapable of attending to the necessary arrangements for the funeral. The services of an intimate friend, or a relative, should, therefore, be sought. He should receive general instructions from the family, after which he should take entire charge of the arrangements, and relieve them from all care on the subject. If such a person cannot be had, the arrangements may be placed in the hands of the sexton of the church the deceased attended in life, or of some responsible undertaker.

The expenses of the funeral should be in accordance with the means of the family. No false pride should permit the relatives to incur undue expense in order to make a showy funeral. At the same time, affection will dictate that all the marks of respect which you can provide should be paid to the memory of your beloved dead.

Funeral Invitations.

In some parts of the country it is customary to send notes of invitation to the funeral to the friends of the deceased and of the family. These invitations should be printed, neatly and simply, on mourning paper, with envelopes to match, and should be delivered by a private messenger. The following is a correct form, the names and dates to be changed to suit the occasion:

"Yourself and family are respectfully invited to attend the funeral of DAVID B. JONES, on Tuesday, March 18, 189-, at 11 o'clock A.M., from his late residence, 1926 Amber Street, to proceed to Laurel Hill Cemetery."

Where the funeral is from a church, the invitation should read:

"Yourself and family are respectfully invited to attend the funeral of DAVID B. JONES, from the Church of the Holy Trinity, on Tuesday, March 18, 189-, at 11 o'clock A.M., to proceed to Laurel Hill Cemetery."

Where such invitations are sent, a list of persons so invited must be given to the person in charge of the funeral, in order that he may provide a sufficient number of carriages. No one to whom an invitation has not been sent should attend such a funeral, nor should those invited permit anything but an important duty to prevent their attendance.

When the funeral is at the house, some near relative or intimate friend should act as usher, and show the company to their seats.

Showing Respect for the Dead.

Preserve a decorous silence in the chamber of death--speak as little as possible, and then only in low, subdued tones.

The members of the family are not obliged to recognize their acquaintances. The latter show their sympathy by their presence and considerate silence.