Part 29

To a large crush wedding a regret, accompanied or not by a gift, may be sent if desired; an acceptance is not necessary. Where the invitations are to the church only, they are amply answered by sending or leaving cards at the house. To receive a card stating that the wedded pair will be "At Home" on certain dates, means that they desire to continue their acquaintance with the parties thus invited, who should either call in person or send cards promptly.

Wedding Anniversaries.

Anniversary invitations require an answer, thus giving a very pleasant opportunity for congratulating the happy couple. The following forms are suitable:

Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Cummings accept with pleasure the kind invitation of Mr. and Mrs. Kennet Wade for Thursday evening, October tenth, and present their warmest congratulations on their Silver Wedding Anniversary. 45 Church Street. Thursday.

For a refusal:

Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Cummings sincerely regret that, owing to an unexpected absence from town, they are unable to accept the very kind invitation of Mr. and Mrs. Kennet Wade for Thursday evening, October tenth, but beg to present to them their warmest congratulations on this occasion of their Silver Wedding Anniversary. 24 Church Street. Wednesday.

The same formulæ in answering will apply to any of the anniversary festivities.

Theater and Opera Parties.

These parties are frequently made up on rather short notice and the invitations are then sent to the house by special messenger who awaits the reply, which must be written at once, that the lady or gentleman giving the entertainment may be sure of a certain number to fill the box or stalls, engaged for the evening. Occasionally, when the party is given by a gentleman, he takes a carriage and gives out the invitations in person when a verbal answer is returned.

Luncheons and Suppers.

Invitations for these are written in the same form as for a dinner, merely substituting the word "luncheon" or "supper" for "dinner," and should be accepted or refused in precisely the same style. Answers also should be sent with the same promptness that the hostess may be certain of arranging her table satisfactorily.

Other Invitations.

Other invitations, aside from those already specified in this department, scarcely demand an answer, except they bear the words: "The favor of an answer is requested," or the initials, "R.S.V.P." Simple "at home" affairs never need an answer, though cards must always be sent, or left in person, immediately afterward. Garden parties, where they are held at any distance from the city and carriages are to be sent to convey the guests thither, always require an answer; this, however, is usually indicated upon the card.

Refusing After Acceptance.

Should it unfortunately occur, after accepting an invitation, that, by one of the sorrowful happenings so often marring our best laid plans, we are prevented from fulfilling our promise, let the regret sent be prompt, that your hostess, especially if the entertainment be a dinner or luncheon may possibly, even at the eleventh hour, be able to supply the vacancy. Make it explanatory as well, that she may feel positive that no mere whim has caused the disarrangement of her plans.

What Not to Do.

Never write the word "accepts," "regrets" or "declines" upon your visiting card and send in lieu of a written note. To do so is not only an insult to your hostess but a mark as well of your own ill-breeding. An invitation, which is always an honor and implies the best that your host is able to offer, should always receive the courtesy of a civil reply.

Etiquette of Courtship and Marriage

"Courtship," according to Sterne, "consists in a number of quiet attentions, not so pointed as to alarm, nor so vague as not to be understood."

In this little quotation lies the spirit and the letter of all etiquette regarding courtship. The passion of love generally appearing to everyone save the man who feels it, so entirely disproportionate to the value of the object, so impossible to be entered into by any outside individual, that any strong expressions of it appear ridiculous to a third person. For this reason it is that all extravagance of feeling should be carefully repressed as an offense against good breeding.

Man was made for woman, and woman equally for man. How shall they treat each other? How shall they come to understand their mutual relations and duties? It is lofty work to write upon this subject what ought to be written. Mistakes, fatal blunders, hearts and lives wrecked, homes turned into bear-gardens, tears, miseries, blasted hopes, awful tragedies--can you name the one most prolific cause of all these?

If our young people were taught what they ought to know--if it were told them from infancy up--if it were drilled into them and they were made to understand what now is all a mystery to them--a dark, vague, unriddled mystery--hearts would be happier, homes would be brighter, lives would be worth living and the world would be better.

"GOOD NIGHT! GOOD NIGHT! PARTING IS SUCH SWEET SORROW, THAT I SHALL SAY GOOD NIGHT TILL IT BE MORROW."]

This is now the matter--matter grave and serious enough--which we have in hand. There are gems of wisdom founded on health, morality, happiness, which should be put within reach of every household in our whole broad land. It is a most important, yet neglected subject. People are squeamish, cursed with mock modesty, ashamed to speak with their lips what their Creator spoke through their own minds and bodies when he formed them. It is time such nonsense--nonsense shall we say?--rather say it is time such fatal folly were withered and cursed by the sober common sense and moral duty of universal society.

Courtship! Its theme, how delightful! Its memories and associations, how charming! Its luxuries the most luxurious proffered to mortals! Its results how far reaching, and momentous! No mere lover's fleeting bauble, but life's very greatest work! None are equally portentous, for good and evil.

Errors of Love-Making.

God's provisions for man's happiness are boundless and endless. How great are the pleasures of sight, motion, breathing! How much greater those of mind! Yet a right love surpasses them all; and can render us all happier than our utmost imaginations can depict; and a wrong more miserable.

Right love-making is more important than right selection; because it affects conjugal life for the most. Men and women need knowledge concerning it more than touching anything else. Their fatal errors show their almost universal ignorance concerning it. That most married discords originate in wrong love-making instead of selection, is proved by love usually declining; while adaptation remains the same.