Part 11

In speaking to people always give them their proper titles, as: "Colonel," "Doctor Jones," "Professor Gray." Never make a practice of saying: "That is so, Colonel," but, "That is so, Colonel Sharp."

In mentioning a married daughter, unless to a very intimate friend, give her married title, as: "Mrs. Miller," or, "My daughter, Mrs. Miller." In speaking of unmarried daughters, or of sons (unless to servants), give them their Christian name, as Hattie or George, or else mention them, and this is better before strangers, as: "My daughter," or, "My son."

Misuse of Initials.

Never address persons by their initials, as: "Mrs. W.," "Miss C.," "Mr. D.;" give them instead their full name. Neither should you call young ladies, "Miss Mollie," or "Miss Jennie;" "Miss Smith," or, "Miss Brown," being in much better taste. Their Christian names should only be used to distinguish them from other sisters. Never address people by their Christian names unless very familiarly acquainted. This practice savors of ill-breeding and is often very annoying to the person so addressed.

In speaking of persons who are absent, mention them by their last name, as: "Mrs. Roe," "Mr. Doe," unless the intimacy is very great; even then care should be taken not to use their Christian names too freely among persons to whom they may be strangers.

A wife in speaking of her husband should rather say "Mr. Smith," than "My husband;" but, above all, let her refrain from referring to her liege lord as "he," as if the whole wide world possessed no other mortal to whom that pronoun was applicable. Husbands should follow the same rules in referring to their wives.

Be careful not to interlard conversation with "sir," or "ma'am." In Europe these terms are relegated to the use of the lower classes.

VISITING CARDS.

Cards are the sign manual of society. Their use and development belongs only to a high order of civilization. They accompany us, as one writer has justly remarked, all the way from the cradle to the grave. They begin with engraved announcements of the birth of a child, then cards for its christening, and, later on, dainty little cards of invitation for children's parties, until, in due time, the girl crosses that line

"Where the brook and river meet Womanhood and childhood sweet,"

sets up a card of her own, and blossoms forth into a young lady.

They announce the gaieties, the pleasures, the anniversaries of life: they inquire for us during our illness and sorrow, they return thanks for our gifts and attentions, and, finally, they commemorate to our friends the last, sad earthly scene and ring the curtain down.

The stress laid by society upon the correct usage of these magic bits of pasteboard will not seem unnecessary when it is remembered that the visiting card, socially defined, means, and is frequently made to take the place of, one's self. It will be seen, therefore, that one of the first requisites for social success is to understand the language, so to speak, of the visiting card. With this end in view the following suggestions on the subject have been carefully arranged with due regard to brevity, accuracy and ease of reference.

Style of the Card.

The card should be perfectly plain, fine in texture, thin, white, unglazed and engraved in simple script without flourishes. Gilt edges, rounded or clipped corners, tinted surfaces or any oddity of lettering, such as German or Old English text, are to be avoided. A photograph or any ornamentation whatever upon a card savors of ill-breeding or rusticity. Have the script engraved always, never printed. The engraved autograph is no longer considered in good taste, neither are written cards as elegant as those that are engraved.

Size of the Card.

The regulation size, both in this country and England, for a lady's visiting card is three and one-half inches in length and two and one-half inches in width. This oblong form is most generally used, but there is an almost square shape, two and a half inches by three, also in favor, and especially used by unmarried ladies where the shortness of their name would be too much emphasized in the longer card. For instance: "Miss Ray" would be quite justified in choosing the square style, while "Miss Ethelinda Crane" or "Mrs. Algernon Spencer" would find the length of their names displayed to better advantage on the oblong card.

Cards for gentlemen are much smaller than those for ladies. This holds good in both England and America, where the required size is three inches one way by one inch and a half the other.

The largest card in use is the one sometimes adopted by the newly-married and engraved with their joint names. Thus:

MR. AND MRS. GRANT TROWBRIDGE

may make use of a card four inches long by three and one-half in width, but a lady and her daughter, where their names appear together, should use the first-mentioned oblong size for ladies.

Engraving the Name.

Married ladies make a point of using their husband's name or initials upon their cards instead of their own, as:

MRS. GEORGE B. CLEVELAND,

Or:

MRS. G.B. CLEVELAND,

Instead of:

MRS. GRACE E. CLEVELAND.