Siege of Washington, D.c., Written Expressly for Little People

CHAPTER I.. Washington As a Remarkable City.

WASHINGTON AS A REMARKABLE CITY.

YOU, my son, have heard, and perhaps read, how Rome was once saved by a goose. There were, as you know, my son, a great many geese abroad during the siege of Washington; but it was not through any act of theirs that the city was saved. As I love you dearly, my son, so is it my first desire to instruct you correctly on all subjects in which the good of our great country is concerned. Before concluding my history of this remarkable siege, I shall prove to your satisfaction that Washington was saved, and the fate of the nation determined, by a barrel of whisky.

Let me say to you, my son, that the siege of Washington, however much people abroad may laugh at it, was one of the most extraordinary events in the history of modern warfare. It took place in the year of our Lord, 1864; and there is no other event in the war of the great rebellion to compare with it. You will, therefore, my son, understand why it is that the history of an event of so much importance should be written only by an impartial historian--one who has courage enough to tell the truth, and no official friends to serve at the expense of honor. I must tell you, also, my son, that the great military problem of this siege has afforded a subject of deep study for our engineers, from General Delafield downward, who have puzzled their wits over it without finding a solution.

Should we be unfortunate enough to have another great war, and the nation again be compelled to give itself up to the profession of arms, the conduct of this siege would afford us an excellent example, as well as a profitable key to the art of war, as understood by our War Department in the said year of our Lord, 1864. This, then, is another reason why this great military event should be faithfully rendered. I will also add, my son, that though I may fail to instruct you after the manner and style of the most profound historian of our day, I will at least make my account of this great siege so plain and simple that you will comprehend it in all its multiplicity of parts.

But first let me tell you a few things about Washington, the capital city of this great nation. You, my son, may have seen one hundred other cities, and yet it will remind you of none of them. It is very elongated, and spreads over a great deal of ground, apparently for personal inconvenience. Indeed, my son, it has the appearance of having been dropped down late of a Saturday night by some eccentric gentleman who had a large quantity of architectural odds and ends on hand, and had no other use for them. It has been famous always for its acute angles and broad avenues. The former, I have heard more than one person say, were skillfully arranged by a very accommodating French engineer, for the special benefit of persons who went home late of nights and were liable to get confused on the way. The population is rather a curious one, and may be classified as the distinct and indistinct, the settled and unsettled. The census report, a remarkably unreliable account, has it that they number "some" sixty thousand. A large proportion of this settled and unsettled population is of such variety of color as to render it almost impossible to define the nice proportions of blood it is so strongly mixed with. On this point, my son, you must not be too particular, but accept it as your father does, as a proof that the races, whom we are told can never be got to live in harmony together, have, to say the least, gone very extensively into a system which gives strength to the belief that it could be done. The French call this the commingling system, and their philosophers argue from it, and with much force, that it is impossible to establish the question as to what kind of blood the best society is based upon. For myself, I feel that we can with safety accept these French philosophers as good authority in such matters. You will also find among the population of Washington natives of nearly every country on the face of the globe. These speak no end of tongues, follow all manner of professions and occupations, and what is most valuable, preserve that delightful diversity for which what is called the "old society" has always been famous. Picturesque hills encircle the city at a distance, and a beautiful river flows past on its way to the sea. The city has many fathers and few friends. These fathers, while in an ornamental mood, built a grand canal into the very bowels of the city, after the manner of Venice, that commerce might be encouraged, and such persons as had a passion for moonlight and gondolas could gratify it. But the people were not given to sailing in gondolas, so this famous canal was diverted from the object for which it was originally intended. It is now used as a tomb where deceased animals of a domestic nature are carefully deposited. The old inhabitants regard this tomb with a reverence I never could understand clearly, even though I had sought for a cause in their instinctive opposition to all and every manner of reform. Indeed, the fathers of the city regard this grand canal as performing a very humane part, inasmuch as it supplies an excellent and very convenient burial-place for their domestic animals, and increases the practice of a large number of doctors. The city fathers, I am informed, find some consolation in the fact that other canals have performed equally humane services.

And it came to pass, my son, that there was a great war in all the land; and greater than was ever known before in any other land. Thus Washington became the centre of our anxieties and our thoughts. The people of the North, and the people of the West, and the people of the South, who constituted the people of one great nation, had long held different opinions as to the right of making merchandise of men, of women, and of little children. Yes, my son, it was at last claimed to be in accordance with Christianity to doom these people to a life at once hopeless and miserable. As you grow up, my son, and begin to think and act for yourself, you will think it very strange that such a great national crime as this should have existed in a land so blessed with the fruits of a ripe civilization. And it will be a cause of wonder to you that a society based upon such an abomination did not sooner break down under the burden of its wrongs. And yet you must always bear in mind, my son, that men do not view great crimes alike, and that even good and great men differ as to what constitutes national rights and national wrongs. It is said that great nations have gone to decline because their people became blind with pride, and refused to think right. A nation is always safe while its people think right; but you must teach the children right before you can have the people think right. Education and association had much to do in training the thoughts of men in the South into wrong channels. Taking this view of the subject you may find much to forgive in a political system that seems wrong in your eyes and right in the eyes of its supporters. Indeed, my son, I would enjoin you to treat with a reasonable amount of deference the arguments advanced by those who differ with you on questions of public policy, and also to remember that right and reason are your strongest weapons. Never get angry with your opponent, never use language that will cause you a regret; and if you cannot convince by the moral force of your argument, abandon the undertaking. And whatever else you do to advance your material prosperity, never let it be said of you that you advocated a great political wrong merely because it was popular and brought you the applause of the unthinking. You cannot do so with a clear conscience; and what is life without it?

I have, unwittingly, my son, wandered away from my subject. The people of the South forgot all the great principles which govern humanity for humanity's good; they were betrayed into wrong doing by false friends, and made blind by their own prosperity. And they even forgot that God was their truest and best guardian, and to Him they must look for that care and protection which shall last forever. But, my son, I would enjoin you to bear these people no ill will, and remember how much better it is in the sight of God to deal with the erring in the spirit of forgiveness. They were a brave and a gallant people, who fought in the belief that they were right, and with a heroism worthy of a good cause. It is only the meanest nature that has no respect for the courage and gallantry of an enemy--that cannot find in it something to admire. It was the selfishness, my son, which slavery begat in these people, that perverted their natures, and caused them to forget God.

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