Part 38

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Former Customs and Peculiarities Among Men.

1. POLYGAMY.--There is a wide difference as regards the relations of the sexes in different parts of the world. In some parts polygamy has prevailed from time immemorial.

Most savage people are polygamists, and the Turks, though slowly departing from the practice, still allow themselves a plurality of wives.

2. RULE REVERSED.--In Thibet the rule is reversed, and the females are provided with two or more husbands. It is said that in many instances a whole family of brothers have but one wife. The custom has at least one advantageous feature, viz.: the possibility of leaving an unprotected widow and a number of fatherless children is entirely obviated.

3. THE MORGANATIC MARRIAGE is a modification of polygamy. It sometimes occurs among the royalty of Europe, and is regarded as perfectly legitimate, but the morganatic wife is of lower rank than her royal husband, and her children do not inherit his rank or fortune. The Queen only is the consort of the sovereign, and entitled to share his rank.

4. DIFFERENT MANNERS OF OBTAINING WIVES.--Among the uncivilized almost any envied possession is taken by brute force or superior strength. The same is true in obtaining a wife. The strong take precedence of the weak. It is said that among the North American Indians it was the custom for men to wrestle for the choice of women. A weak man could seldom retain a wife that a strong man coveted.

The law of contest was not confined to individuals alone. Women were frequently the cause of whole tribes arraying themselves against each other in battle. The effort to excel in physical power was a great incentive to bodily development, and since the best of the men were preferred by the most superior women, the custom was a good one in this, that the race was improved.

5. THE ABORIGINAL AUSTRALIAN employed low cunning and heartless cruelty in obtaining his wife. Laying in ambush, with club in hand, he would watch for the coveted woman, {163} and, unawares, spring upon her. If simply disabled he carried her off as his possession, but if the blow had been hard enough to kill, he abandoned her to watch for another victim. There is here no effort to attract or please, no contest of strength; his courtship, if courtship it can be called, would compare very unfavorably with any among the brute creation.

6. THE KALMUCK TARTAR races for his bride on horseback, she having a certain start previously agreed upon. The nuptial knot consists in catching her, but we are told that the result of the race all depends upon whether the girl wants to be caught or not.

7. SANDWICH ISLANDERS.--Marriage among the early natives of these islands was merely a matter of mutual inclination. There was no ceremony at all, the men and women united and separated as they felt disposed.

8. THE FEUDAL LORD, in various parts of Europe, when any of his dependents or followers married, exercised the right of assuming the bridegroom's proper place in the marriage couch for the first night. Seldom was there any escape from this abominable practice. Sometimes the husband, if wealthy, succeeded in buying off the petty sovereign from exercising his privilege.

9. THE SPARTANS had the custom of encouraging intercourse between their best men and women for the sake of a superior progeny, without any reference to a marriage ceremony. Records show that the ancient Roman husband has been known to invite a friend, in whom he may have admired some physical or mental trait, to share the favors of his wife, that the peculiar qualities that he admired might be repeated in the offspring.

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Hasty marriage seldom proveth well.--Shakespere, Henry VI.

The reason why so few marriages are happy is, because young ladies spend their time in making nets, not in making cages.--Swift, Thoughts on Various Subjects.

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Sensible Hints in Choosing a Partner.

1. There are many fatal errors and many love-making failures in courtship. Natural laws govern all nature and reduce all they govern to eternal right; therefore love naturally, not artificially. Don't love a somebody or a nobody simply because they have money.

2. COURT SCIENTIFICALLY.--If you court at all, court scientifically. Bungle whatever else you will, but do not bungle courtship. A failure in this may mean more than a loss of wealth or public honors; it may mean ruin, or a life often worse than death. The world is full of wretched and mismated people.

BEGIN RIGHT and all will be right; begin wrong and all will end wrong. When you court, make a business of it and study your interest the same as you would study any other business proposition.

3. DIVORCES.--There is not a divorce on our court records that is not the result of some fundamental error in courtship. The purity or the power of love may be corrupted the same as any other faculty, and when a man makes up his mind to marry and shuts his eyes and grabs in the dark for a companion, he dishonors the woman he captures and commits a crime against God and society. In this enlightened age there should be comparatively few mistakes made in the selection of a suitable partner. Sufficient time should be taken to study each other's character and disposition. Association will soon reveal adaptability.

4. FALSE LOVE.--Many a poor, blind and infatuated novice thinks he is desperately in love, when there is not the least genuine affection in his nature. It is all a momentary {166} passion, a sort of puppy love; his vows and pledges are soon violated, and in wedlock he will become indifferent and cold to his wife and children, and he will go through life without ambition, encouragement or success. He will be a failure. True love speaks for itself, and the casual observer can read its proclamations. True love does not speak in a whisper. It always makes itself heard. The follies of flirting develop into many unhappy marriages, and blight many a life. A man happily married has superior advantages both socially and financially.

5. FLIRTING JUST FOR FUN.--Who is the flirt, what is his reputation, motive, or character? Every young man and woman must have a reputation; if it is not good it is bad, there is no middle ground. Young people who are running in the streets after dark, boisterous and noisy in their conversation, gossiping and giggling, flirting with first one and then another, will soon settle their matrimonial prospects among good society. Modesty is a priceless jewel. No sensible young man with a future will marry a flirt.

6. THE ARCH-DECEIVER.--They who win the affection simply for their own amusement are committing a great sin for which there is no adequate punishment. How can you shipwreck the innocent life of that confiding maiden, how can you forget her happy looks as she drank in your expressions of love, how can you forget her melting eyes and glowing cheeks, her tender tone reciprocating your pretended love? Remember that God is infinitely just, and "the soul that sinneth shall surely die." You may dash into business, seek pleasure in the club room, and visit gambling hells, but "Thou art the man" will ever stare you in the face. Her pale, sad cheeks, her hollow eyes will never cease to haunt you. Men should promote happiness, and not cause misery. Let the savage Indians torture captives to death by the slow flaming fagot, but let civilized man respect the tenderness and love of confiding women. Torturing the opposite sex is double-distilled barbarity. Young men agonizing young ladies, is the cold-blooded cruelty of devils, not men.

7. THE RULE TO FOLLOW.--Do not continually pay your attentions to the same lady if you have no desire to win her affections. Occasionally escorting her to church, concert, picnic, party, etc., is perfectly proper; but to give her your special attention, and extend invitations to her for all places of amusements where you care to attend, is an implied promise that you prefer her company above all others, and she has a right to believe that your attentions are serious. {167}