Part 14

“At the time I speak of there was one particular giant who had for a long while been remarkably troublesome. Not only was his appetite more insatiable than that of his brethren, but he was endowed with a spirit of mischief, which rendered him an especially disagreeable neighbour. If he met a man he generally gave him a kick, which sent him off fifty yards up in the air, and in most instances proved fatal. He never passed a cottage without sitting down on the roof, or kicking the wall down, and would walk away from a farm with a couple of haystacks, one under each arm, simply for the love of plunder, and when he really did not require the hay for his own purposes.

“You {144}will hardly require much argument in order to convince you that this giant was a most obnoxious person, and was consequently held in great detestation by all the poor creatures who had the misfortune to dwell near him. By these he was generally called by the euphonious name of ‘Old Bramble-Buffer,’ although the title by which he was known among his own kith and kin was probably quite different, and has not been handed down to posterity. For many years he tyrannized over the country round, and the story which I am about to tell you will show how great his fame and physical strength must have been, and thus remove any surprise which you might otherwise possibly have felt at the power of one monster to keep a whole neighbourhood in subjection.

“When their houses had been again and again destroyed, the wretched inhabitants began to seek shelter in holes in the caves and rocks, in which they hid themselves, their wives, families, and effects, and only issued forth by stealth at night, or when they had reason to believe that their terrible oppressor was away from home. In consequence of this state of things, our friend the Daddyroarer found his fun somewhat diminished. He seldom encountered a man now, the opportunities afforded him for kicking down houses were comparatively rare, and he began to think life in the country, under such circumstances, rather tedious. It was in vain that he occupied himself in mountain-building with some of his fellow-giants, snowballing was cold work, and became tiresome after a time; and when he once tried to amuse himself by baling out my river, he found the task too great for even one of his gigantic strength. {145}He kept on at it for some time, being too stupid to understand that my river, being well supplied at its sources, and aided by many a tributary stream and mountain torrent, was in no sort of way affected by the abstraction of the few millions of gallons of which his puny efforts robbed it, and his exertions only caused intense mirth to my elves and demons, without for a moment lessening the volume of water in the river, or in any way diminishing the strength and rapidity of the current.

“So when Master Bramble-buffer became tired of all these occupations and amusements he had few resources left. Persons of his description are not given to literary or intellectual pursuits, and in all probability both reading and writing were accomplishments entirely unknown to the ordinary class of giants. Eating, drinking, and sleeping appeared to be the chief objects for which these creatures existed, except to make themselves generally disagreeable to their neighbours, which was an object in which it is quite true that they rarely failed to achieve complete success. So when the excellent Bramble-buffer had found out that the task of emptying the Rhine was beyond his powers, and cared not to fall back upon the old pastimes, of which he had had his fill, he took to the practice of taking long walks, and journeying into other countries wherein he might find fresh people to terrify, new fields to destroy, and a wider scope for the exercise of his vast strength and malevolent disposition.

“He marched over a great extent of ground, and did a vast deal of mischief during these excursions. Such was his size and weight, that the commonest action on his part {146}was sometimes fraught with the most unexpected results and the direst consequences to mankind. For instance, if he carelessly slung his walking-stick as he moved along the road, the implement, being of the size and thickness of a well-grown fir-tree, brushed off the heads of trees--and of people too, for that matter, if it came in contact with them,---just as a stick in the hand of an ordinary mortal knocks over poppies and thistles if employed for that purpose. Then if he sat down on a small hill to rest, it was as if a man had jumped with his full weight on a mole-hill of which the earth was newly thrown up and consequently soft. The ground trembled beneath his weight as if with the shock of a sudden earthquake; and very often squashed under him so as to jut out on either side, and cause sudden and most inconvenient alterations in the fields and woods on each side of the hill, more especially so in those cases in which dwellings happened to have been erected thereupon. And woe betide the owner of ponds or wells when the Daddyroarer happened to be thirsty as he passed by them. It was no unusual thing for him to empty a pond at a draught, and I have known a whole village affected with drought for weeks together because old Bramble-buffer had taken a fancy to drink of the wells by which it was supplied with water.

“In his journey at last the old fellow came to the seashore, and having never before visited the blue ocean, he was abundantly delighted at all he saw. Even the coarse and blunted nature of a giant cannot fail to be struck with admiration at the first sight of the glorious sea. The waves breaking with regular and solemn force upon the shore, as if protesting ever against their enforced {147}restraint within prescribed limits: the foam dancing lightly upon the water far away out at sea; the bright rays of the sun reflected in varying lights upon the shifting waters; the ships riding at anchor, or merrily cleaving the waves asunder in their onward course; the sea-birds skimming along the bosom of the sea, ever and anon with shrill scream dipping their long wings in the spray of the wave, and mounting again in high air with joyous flight; the huge fish showing his scaled form for an instant in the light of day, and the next moment burying himself fathoms deep in the world of waters below; all these things, passing before the eye at the same moment with the rapidity of thought, strike the beholder, be he giant or man, with mingled awe and wonder.

“In the case of old Bramble-buffer, however, neither feeling lasted long, and after a very short space of time the spirit of mischief arose within his breast, and tempted him to try his powers of doing evil under the new circumstances before him. Placing himself in a recumbent posture, and supporting his huge frame upon his two stalwart arms, he began to blow violently down upon the sea below, with all the force of his mighty lungs. The effect was instantaneous. The bosom of the deep was troubled as with a terrible hurricane. The waves reared up their heads, the foam danced higher than ever, the sea-birds shrieked more loudly, and the fishes were astonished at the wondrous commotion which had arisen upon the surface of their watery home. The poor mariners, who were taken totally unawares by the extraordinary suddenness of the storm, were, as may well be supposed, in considerable trouble. Their ships were {148}driven from their moorings, masts were snapt asunder, sails and rigging rent and injured irreparably, and several men and boys blown overboard by the violence of the terrible blast. Indeed, more than one vessel was lost, and an immense amount of property utterly destroyed; and all because of this mad freak of the mischievous old giant.

“But the best of the joke in this case was that the poor mortals had no idea whatever of the cause of the disaster which had so unexpectedly befallen them, and a lengthy correspondence was carried on in the newspapers {149}of a certain country whose inhabitants think themselves wiser than anybody else, as to the cause of storms, the efficacy of storm signals, and the possibility of foretelling when the weather is going to be calm or rough. Some people wrote letters which appeared to the world exceedingly wise, whilst others published ideas which every one agreed to be remarkably foolish, but none of them ever hit upon the right cause of this catastrophe, and possibly many others of a like character, nor did any person ever dream for a moment that the whole of the affair was owing to the whim of old Bramble-buffer and his desire to try his strength upon the waves of the ocean. When he had accomplished his purpose, put everybody and everything into the greatest confusion, and done all the mischief he could in the shortest possible time, the fellow sat up, folded his arms, and indulged in a series of hearty laughs and strange roars of pleasure which the innocent people of the neighbourhood took for claps of thunder, and said it was a good thing; that the thunder-storm would clear the air, and the wind would soon be lulled.

“Giants, however, like men, find pleasures greater in anticipation than in realisation, and our old friend thought it too much trouble to repeat the experiment of raising the wind, which is one never to be performed without a certain amount of difficulty. Accordingly, he resolved to seek for some other amusement, and turning away from the sea-shore, again penetrated into the interior of the country. It would be endless to tell: you all the strange pranks he played, and how gradually his name became known and detested throughout the whole country through which the river which bears my name holds {150}its course. It he desired notoriety, he certainly had it to his heart’s content, and never was there a being more feared and hated since the beginning of the world.

“At last, having travelled far enough, he returned by easy stages to the country from whence he had set out, and there recommenced his old evil practices with the smallest possible delay. He had always a spite against my beautiful river, I suppose because he had failed in emptying it; but, whatever the reason may have been, he liked it not, and used to vary his occupations sometimes by pitching pieces of mountain into it, and close by its side, so as to make its shores if possible unapproachable by mortal foot, in doing which he added greatly to the wild beauty of the scenery, without in reality doing the smallest harm either to the river or to mankind.

“After a while, old Bramble-buffer began to find that the effects of his bad and cruel conduct towards mankind had so diminished the number of those who used to dwell in houses, that he had some difficulty in obtaining supplies from farms and homesteads as before. He therefore, much against his will, was obliged to take to hunting and trapping wild animals, in which he was not very skilful, but for this he was in some measure compensated by the advantages of size and strength, which enabled him to catch creatures which his skill alone would never have brought within reach of his devouring jaws.

“In his search after game he was in the habit of roaming far and wide over the mountains and through the forests of Rhine-land, and his loud cries and roars were often heard for miles, sending the frightened people into their holes and caves, where with trembling hearts they sought {151}a refuge from the mighty Daddyroarer. At last, one day, the old fellow had been more than commonly successful in his hunting. Chance had thrown in his way several roe-buck and sundry hares, of which he had made a very hearty meal, and naturally felt rather sleepy afterwards. He therefore wandered slowly through the forest, looking for some convenient and comfortable spot upon which he might deposit his huge carcase, and indulge in that after-dinner nap which is ordinarily so agreeable to persons of a certain age. In a giant’s case, such naps are almost always unnaturally long and deep, and in fact these vast beings have been known not unfrequently to sleep round from one dinnertime to another, when their repast has happened to be somewhat larger and more satisfactory to themselves than common.

“Old Bramble-buffer looked about, and not seeing any eligible resting-place at hand, determined to make one for himself by pulling up a tree or two, and so finding a pillow in their roots and the earth which would be upturned therewith. So taking hold of a large tree near him, he gave it a twist and a turn, such as a gardener might do in pulling up a radish, or a labourer in performing the same office upon a turnip, and produced precisely the same effect. The tree was uprooted, and remained in the hands of its destroyer. But it so happened that this was not an ordinary tree, or rather that there were some extraordinary circumstances connected with it. It was of very great size, and growing on the side of a hill; in which a large cave had been excavated beneath and among the roots of the trees, which served as props and supports for the sides and roof of the same.

“This {152}cave was inhabited by a number of unhappy mortals, who had been driven hither by the careless cruelty of the great giant, and who little thought that the tyranny of their oppressor would follow them even into this dark and hidden retreat. They, of course, were thrown into the most terrible consternation by his present feat. The uprooting of the tree was to them the destruction of their home once more, the ruin of all they loved, the literal annihilation of their property, and the loss of all that could still make life dear to them. Fancy the miserable, the extraordinary results which would happen if one’s house were suddenly lifted up, and the walls, ceilings, beams, and rafters fell in around us on every side. Well, this was precisely what happened to these unfortunate creatures. Nor had they the smallest time for preparation. It all came upon them in a moment.

“As we have seen, it was only the desire of the giant to provide himself with a pillow which caused him to pull up the tree, and although he would probably have done so just the same, or perhaps all the more, if he had known what the result would be, there is no reason to suppose that of such result he had the least idea, or indeed that he ever troubled his head about the possible or probable result of his action to anybody but himself. As soon, however, as he had pulled up the tree, and perceived the effects which he had thus produced, the old rascal burst into a roar of laughter. Indeed the sight was probably as amusing to him as it must have been horrible to one of the sufferers. The poor little mortals were running to and fro, each with the most woebegone expression of countenance, unable to make out {153}what had happened to them. Some, indeed, were entangled in the roots of the tree, and whirled up aloft with it in the giant’s hands, some were half smothered by the fallen earth, and the rest were endeavouring to make their escape best manner that they could to repair the injury he had done, or leaving the poor creatures whom he had so cruelly disturbed to repair it for themselves if they could.

On the contrary, he made matters worse, and just for the fun of the thing, stamped several of the mortals into the earth as they were wildly flying from the ruins of their home, and thus put an {154}end to their lives and troubles together. Probably, out of mere mischief, he would have destroyed more of them, if he had happened to have fallen in with the pastime before dinner. Having dined, however, he was much less inclined to any active exertion, and therefore contented himself with putting his foot upon those who were more immediately within his reach, and then, feeling somewhat fatigued, sat down on that very spot and prepared for his usual nap. First, however, he indulged in another laugh at the curious incident which had just occurred; then he peered down into the cave below, and wondered how any living creatures could exist in such a dark, dismal place, and what the nature and habits of such creatures could be. This being a subject too vast and deep for the intellect of a giant, he could not entertain it without giving a tremendous yawn, which still more inclined him to sleep. So, arranging his position as comfortably as he could upon his back, which is a giant’s natural posture when about to turn in for the night, he composed himself to slumber, without a thought of remorse for the unhappy beings whom he had just treated in so ruthless a manner, and in a very short time was buried in the land of dreams.

“Now, amongst those who had been driven from the shelter of the cave, and rendered houseless and homeless in a moment by the act of the giant, was a worthy person of the name of Hans. His other name is unknown to me, or at least I have forgotten it at the present moment, which comes to much the same thing. Hans had followed the honourable profession of a tailor in happier days, before the tyranny of the giant had destroyed trade, crippled commerce, and made men careless {155}as to whether they wore coats or trousers at all when their whole lives were so full of misery and uncertainty. When tailoring, like other handicrafts, thus fell into disuse, and men who were homeless and houseless frequently became clothes-less also, Hans faced the matter boldly, and lived by his wits like the others, making himself exceedingly useful in the cave-life which he and his companions found themselves obliged to adopt. No one knew better how to arrange the interior of the caves after the best and most convenient fashion; no one was more urbane to the men, or more courteous and obliging to the women; no one, in short, had proved himself a more useful and agreeable companion in that banished community.

“Having been engaged in some domestic occupation within the cave at the time of the misfortune which befell its inmates, Hans bore his full share in the general calamity, and indeed only owed his escape with life to his activity and presence of mind. Whirled upwards with the tree, he clung tightly to the nearest root, and had the wisdom to drop himself just at the right moment upon the ground, and run lightly away into the brushwood. As soon, however, as the assault was over, and the destroyer of his brethren had lain down to sleep, the bold Hans again came forth.

“Many men would have fled as far as possible from that scene of sorrow and destruction, and thought only of the preservation of their own lives from the fate which had befallen so many of their kind. But Hans had too much public spirit to take any such selfish course. He descended without delay into the cave, and ascertained as well as he could the full extent of the damage which had {156}been sustained. Then he ran to and fro among his fellows, exhorting them to bear with courage this terrible reverse, and begging them to meet at once in a cave hard by, and consult as to the best measures which could be taken under the circumstances in which they found themselves.

“In a very short time, owing to his exertions, more than a hundred of the unhappy mortals assembled together and began to take counsel for the future. As is usual in all such cases, there was a great variety of opinion. One man advised that they should all forthwith hang themselves, as life had become so insecure as to be almost worthless. It was urged, however, that this would afford no remedy for the existing state of things, and would be like throwing away your gold because you had been robbed of your silver. Besides, it would be an undignified thing to come to a general termination of so inglorious a character, and the proposal was speedily scouted as one totally unworthy of consideration.

“Then it was suggested by another person that a subscription should immediately be raised for the sufferers, and advertisements to that effect be inserted in all the daily papers. As the speaker was the proprietor and editor of one of these, it is possible that he had an eye to business in making the suggestion, which, however, fell flat upon the ears of the audience. No one there had any money to spare, and everybody was more or less a sufferer from a calamity which had fallen so generally upon the race of man. Some advised that they should all emigrate, but then they didn’t know where to go to, and, in short, it seemed as if they were likely {157}to come to no agreement; everybody objected to everything that anybody else said, no one seemed to have any weight or authority in the assembly, and it really appeared a hopeless case altogether.

“At last Hans, who had kept a respectful silence for some time, as became one in his position, whilst others talked nonsense (which is occasionally done at public meetings, as well as elsewhere, down to the present day), came forward, and asked leave to offer his advice. ‘Gentlemen,’ he said, ‘I hope you will agree with me that it is necessary to do something in this case. To sit still with our hands folded, and do nothing, would be certainly the very worst course we could possibly pursue. The horrible cruelty of the vile Daddyroarer has first driven us from our former happy homes, destroyed our hopes of prosperity, and condemned us to an almost savage life; then, not content with the amount of misery which he had already inflicted on us, the tyrant has followed us even into the forest, uprooted and ruined the new home which we had formed for ourselves, and once more turned adrift upon the wide world those of us who have been lucky enough to escape with life. How long then are we to endure such a state of things as this? While this huge monster walks the earth unchecked and unrestrained, no man’s life will be safe; and even if we run away and find for ourselves fresh hiding-places, what security have we that at any moment he may not appear amongst us and again inflict upon us ruin and destruction? Depend upon it, gentlemen, this question must be looked in the face. It cannot be evaded any longer. Running away is useless. The enemy must be no longer avoided. At this moment he sleeps in security over our {158}ruined homes. He must be attacked! Never was there a more auspicious moment! Let us take courage, and assail the giant where he lies!’

“As Hans spoke a thrill of horror ran through the meeting, who could by no means bring themselves to realise the idea of attacking a monster so many sizes larger than themselves, and gifted with strength so infinitely greater” than the united efforts of many ‘of them put together. So a murmur of voices, all in the negative, greeted the little tailor when he resumed his seat; and presently one of those present, who, being the oldest, was reputed the wisest (which, however, is by no means a safe rule to go by), stood up and spoke in his turn. He said that it was folly to talk after the fashion of the speech to which they had just listened; and, as this remark was somewhat personal, it was at once much applauded, which encouraged the orator to proceed. He remarked that since the first man came into the world down to that day no man had ever-dreamed of attacking a giant, and, therefore, that it could not now be done. This sentiment also commended itself to many of his hearers, who cherished the belief that no new scheme ought ever to be entertained, as the world had gone on so far very well without it, and that what had never been done before had better not be attempted. Finding his audience possessed with such a good conservative spirit, the old man said further, that as giants had from time immemorial tyrannized over man, it was doubtless intended that they should do so, and it might savour of impiety to endeavour to alter a state of things which had lasted so long. Moreover, the power and authority of giants over men was so well established {159}that it would be almost impossible to reverse the order of things. Comparing such an attempt with efforts made in other countries, it seemed to him to be almost as absurd as an attempt to reform a House of Lords, or reverse the decision of a Governing Body. Then, hazarding a joke (which was very well received), he said, that if his friend the little tailor wanted ‘his goose cooked,’ no doubt he could get that operation performed by attacking authority, and if he chose to run his head against a wall, no one could prevent him. But he (the speaker) would appeal to those before him, as sensible and practical men, and ask them to reject as idle and absurd the wild theories placed before them by little Hans. Giants would be giants, and men would be men to the end of the world, and they must put up with the misfortune which had befallen them as well as they could, and not make it worse by entering upon such a hopeless enterprise as that which had been proposed.

“This speech met with so much approval from the mortals there assembled, who were thoroughly cowed and subdued in spirit by the long course of suffering which they had undergone, that Hans at first felt his heart sink within him. He knew well enough that he could do nothing alone, and it seemed as if all were against him. But, remembering the old adage, that ‘Fortune favours the brave,’ and being a man of undaunted pluck and resolution, he determined not to be put down either by taunts or claptrap. He therefore rose again, and ignoring, like a wise man, the foolish and vulgar joke directed against his own most respectable trade, proceeded to state his views to the best of his ability. He acknowledged that reverence ought to be paid {160}to age, and that the last speaker was consequently-entitled to every attention. At the same time he could not but observe, that if his doctrine were to hold good, that things should be left to go on as they are merely because they are, and that nothing new ought ever to be attempted for fear of failure, the world would be in a very lamentable condition, and no improvement would ever take place in anything. He modestly remarked that, according to tradition, mankind at one period of their history wore only the skins of animals, and at a previous time no clothes at all, and that, if the old gentleman’s views were correct, they never ought to have quitted the latter condition. ‘Moreover,’ said he, to cut a long story short, ‘it has been suggested to me that I may attack the giant alone if I please, and no one will interfere. Be it so: I only ask for six others--half-a-dozen volunteers--and sooner than submit any longer to the present misery and degradation in which I and my fellow-men are placed, I will make the attempt; I can but perish, and, in such a cause, death will be glorious.’

“At these words of the valiant tailor a low murmur of applause ran through the audience, who now began to perceive that he was really in earnest, and had not spoken at first out of mere bravado. For the honour of that oppressed race, I am glad to be able to add, that before any long time had elapsed, the six volunteers whom Hans had demanded were forthcoming in the persons of that number of sturdy young men, who felt that the hour had come when one great effort must be made to set their race free from slavery, and were prepared to follow their brave leader in his perilous enterprise. {161}Indeed, a number of others offered themselves as soon as the thing was fairly started, for man is an imitative animal, and like a flock of sheep, if the leader once makes a dash down a lane or up a bank, there are always plenty to follow. Hans, however, carefully selected six of his own acquaintance, whom he knew to be skilled in certain trades, of which a knowledge would be requisite in order to carry out his plans, and upon whom he knew he could thoroughly rely. He now looked proudly round upon the other mortals, and calling his six friends to follow him, left the place of meeting, attended by the good wishes of those whose deliverance he was about to attempt,--not, however, altogether unmixed with sundry depreciatory sneers on the part of the old gentleman and his immediate followers.

“Without any delay, Hans journeyed back to the spot upon which the mighty Bramble-buffer lay fast asleep, his gigantic carcase resting at full length upon the ground. Hard by, the little tailor stopped his troop, and unfolded to them the plan which his fertile brain had conceived, and for the execution of which he depended upon their assistance. This was none other than to capture the monster, and either put him to death or render him the dependant and slave of those over whom he had so long tyrannized. It would of course be no easy task, but, on the contrary, one which would require much courage and determination, not to say self-sacrifice, as a possibility by no means remote. For, should the giant awake during the operations which were contemplated, he would probably make short work of Hans and his six followers; and thus, in attempting {162}to achieve the freedom of their people, they would emphatically have walked out of the frying-pan into the fire.

“Nothing daunted, however, Hans, speaking in a low tone of voice, informed his friends of all that he had planned in his head, and, knowing how valuable is example upon all such occasions, he told them that he would himself approach the enemy in the first instance, so that if he should suddenly awake, none other save the leader of the attack need of necessity be lost. The gallant six all expressed their readiness to go too, but Hans told them that they must in every respect obey his orders if he was to continue their leader, and upon this they yielded the point, and graciously consented to remain in comparative safety, whilst the valiant tailor advanced upon the foe. This he did very cautiously, and walked twice all round the sleeping giant in order to be quite sure that he was really fast asleep. This was indeed the case, as he speedily assured himself: there was no pretence about the matter; the deep, regular breathing of the sleeper, his closed eyes, and the air of repose visible in every feature, told their own tale, and Hans felt that no moment could be more propitious for his design. Accordingly, he climbed up into the branches of a neighbouring tree, and choosing one of them, which appeared from its position and size to be suitable to his purpose, swung himself lightly down, and alighted upon the giant’s chin, close to his mouth, to reconnoitre which was his first object and intention.

“He had a stick in his hand, and in entering the mouth, which was to him like some enormous cave, unfortunately touched with it some tender place in the skin, {163}which caused the monster to be seized with a violent desire to sneeze, which he accordingly did with an effect hardly anticipated by the luckless Hans, who, stick and all (the latter being broken in several’ pieces), was sent up many feet in the air, and fell, more nearly frightened than he had ever been before in his life, upon the enormous breast of the creature who had thus treated him.