Opium Eating: an Autobiographical Sketch by an Habituate

CHAPTER IV.. Ravages of the Scurvy Among the Chickamauga Prisoners.--Too

Ravages of the Scurvy among the Chickamauga Prisoners.--Too long without Fruit and Vegetables.--The Horrors of the Scurvy.--Certain Death.--Frightful Mortality.--Fortunate Removal from Andersonville.--Arrival at Charleston, S. C.--Transferred to Florence, S. C.--Description of the latter Prison.--Shortest Rations ever Issued.--Certain Starvation on the Rations.--Efforts for more Food.-- Providential Success.--Three Days without Rations.-- Prison-Keepers Cruel and Inhuman.--Terrible Sufferings during the Winter.--Unparalleled Mortality.--Raw Rations and Insufficient Fuel.--Life under Ground.--Swamp Fever.--Taken with the Fever.--Flight from Florence.-- Wilmington.--Goldsboro'.--Hard Times of a Sick Man.-- Prison Exchange Foolery.--Back to Wilmington 34

CHAPTER V.. Return to Goldsboro'.--Drunk With Fever.--Too Sick to

Return to Goldsboro'.--Drunk with Fever.--Too Sick to Walk.--Left Behind.--God Bless the Ladies of Goldsboro'.--Personal Experiences.--Negotiations for a Friend.--An Improvised Hospital.--Sick unto Death.--Semi-Consciousness.--More Kindness from the Ladies of Goldsboro'.--Paroled.--Passed into our Lines near Wilmington.--At Wilmington in the Hands of the Blue Coats.--Friend Lost.--Still very Sick with Fever.-- Determined to go North.--Efforts to get North.--On board Ship.--Ho, for Annapolis.--Incidents of the Voyage.-- Annapolis.--Getting Better.--Stomach Trouble.--Sent to Baltimore.--Furloughed Home 44

CHAPTER VI.. At Home.--Nothing but a Skeleton.--a Good Imitation of

At Home.--Nothing but a Skeleton.--A good Imitation of Lazarus.--A digression upon the Subject of Sleeplessness.--A well-intended Fraud on a Hospital Nurse.--Return of Sleep.--Improvement in Health.--Stomach the only Difficulty.--A Year passes.--Stomach Worse.--Constant Headache.--Much Debilitated.--Awful Suffering.--Bodily Agony Debilitates the Mind.--Sufferings Intolerable.--Physicians and Remedies Tried without Avail.--Forlorn Hope and Last Resort.--Better.--Doubts as to Treatment.--Suspicions Confirmed.--Uncomplimentary Remarks concerning an M. D.--Uncomfortable Discoveries and Reflections 50

CHAPTER VII.. The War Begins.--Struggles to Renounce Opium.--Physical

The War Begins.--Struggles to Renounce Opium.--Physical Phenomena Observed in attempting to Leave Off the Drug.--Difficulty in Abjuring the Fiend.--I Fail Absolutely.--Some Difference with De Quincey regarding the Effects of Opium.--A Preliminary Foresight into the Horrors of Opium 61

CHAPTER VIII.. De Quincey's Life Rather Than His Writings the Best

De Quincey's Life rather than his Writings the Best Evidence of the Effect of Opium upon Him.--Disapproval of his Manner of Treatment of the Subject in His "Confessions."--From First to Last the Effect of Opium is to Produce Unhappiness.--The Difference between the Effect of the Drug taken Hypodermically and Otherwise, Explained.--The various Effects of Opium, Stimulative and Narcotic, Described.--The Effect of my First Dose at the beginning of Habit.--Remarks of De Quincey on his First Dose.--My own Remarks as to First Dose.--Difference between Opium and Liquor.--Stimulation is followed by Collapse.-- Melancholy from the Beginning.--Nervousness and Distraction of the Intellectual Powers.--Sleeplessness.--Different and Peculiar Influences of the Drug Detailed.--Pressure upon the Brain from Excessive Use of Opium.--Distress in the Epigastrium.--The Working of the Brain Impeded 70

CHAPTER IX.. De Quincey _versus_ Coleridge.--Stimulation and Collapse

De Quincey versus Coleridge.--Stimulation and Collapse Considered.--The Use of Opium always to be Condemned.-- Coleridge Defended.--Wretched State of the Opium Eater.--An Explanatory Remark 77

CHAPTER X.. The Delusions and Miseries of the First Stages of Opium

The Delusions and Miseries of the First Stages of Opium Eating 82

CHAPTER XI.

Later Stages.--The Opium Appetite.--Circean Power of Opium.--As a Medicine.--Difference between Condition of Victim in Primary and Secondary Stages 91

CHAPTER XII.. The Address of the Opium Eater.--How He Occupies His

The Address of the Opium Eater.--How he Occupies his Time.--The Refuge of Solitude and Silence.--Indifference to Society or Company.--Disposition, Predilections, and General Conduct 96

CHAPTER XIII.

On Energy and Ambition as Affected by the Opium Habit 98

CHAPTER XIV.

Opium versus Sleep.--Manner of Taking Opium.--Different Considerations Relating to the Habit.--A Prophetic Warning 105

CHAPTER XV.

Difficulties of Writing this Book.--An Attempt to Renounce Opium in the Later Stages of the Habit Described.-- Coleridge and De Quincey.--Animadversions upon De Quincey's "Confessions" 115

CHAPTER XVI.

Conclusion 129

APPENDIX.

NOTE NO. 1.--Coleridge and the Critics 131

" " 2.--Coleridge and Plagiarism 132

" " 3.--A Mare's Nest 134

" " 4.--Second note on Coleridge and Plagiarism 136

" " 5.--On De Quincey's Style of Writing 138

" " 6.--Third Note on Coleridge and Plagiarism 140

OPIUM EATING.

CHAPTER I.

I ENTER THE ARMY.--TAKEN PRISONER.--SUFFERINGS ON THE ROAD TO AND AT RICHMOND.--LEAVE RICHMOND FOR DANVILLE.--OUR SOJOURN AT THE LATTER PLACE.--THE SMALL-POX.--REMOVAL TO ANDERSONVILLE.

In the year 1861, a well and hearty boy of sixteen, I enlisted in the army as a drummer. This was my only possibility of entering the service, as I was too young to be accepted as a private soldier. Though but a drummer, I fought with a gun in all the battles in which our regiment was engaged. It generally so happened that I had no drum about the time of a battle, and being too small to carry off the wounded, and feeling that I was not fulfilling my duty to my country unless I did "the State some service," I participated in the battle of Stone River, and doing tolerably well there, when the battle of Chickamauga drew nigh, the colonel of our regiment told me, casually, that he would like to see me along; and I did not fail him. He did not command me; he had no authority to do that; it was not necessary; I would have been on hand without his referring to the matter at all, as such was my intention. As it was, I took a sick man's gun and accoutrements and marched with my company. On the first day of the battle--the 19th of September, 1863--I was captured. Not being wounded, I was taken with about five thousand other prisoners to Richmond, Va., and confined there in the tobacco-factory prisons. On the way to Richmond we had but little to eat, and suffered considerably. At Richmond, our allowance of food was so small, that during the two and one-half months we were there we became miserably weak, and suffered terribly. It is no doubt a fact, that although hard enough to bear at any time, gradual starvation sets harder upon a man at first than when he has become somewhat accustomed to it. Perhaps this is reasonable enough; the stomach and body being stronger at first, the pangs are more fierce and exhausting.

After being at Richmond three weeks, we could not rise to our feet without crawling up gradually by holding to the wall. Any sudden attempt to rise usually resulted in what is called "blind staggers,"--a fearful, floating, blinding sensation in the head.

Hunger is the most exasperating and maddening of all human suffering, as I do know from most wretched experience. It lengthens out time beyond all calculation, and reduces a man to nothing above a mere savage animal. It makes him a glaring, raging, ferocious brute, and were it not for the accompanying weakness and debility, it would rob him of every instinct of humanity, for the time being. One at length arrives at the conclusion, that all a reasonable being requires in this life, to make him completely happy, is enough to eat. No one that has not experienced it can understand the cruel tedium of hunger, and the eternal war that rages among one's ferocious inwards, as they struggle to devour and consume themselves; the everlasting gnaw, gnaw, as though one's stomach were populated with famished rats. It seems that hunger, long continued, sucks all the substance out of the very material of a man's stomach, and leaves it dry, hard, and serviceless; and also so contracted in size as not to answer the ends of a stomach at all. In short, constant hunger, continued for an unreasonable length of time, will utterly ruin the stomach.

Although the month was November, I sold my shoes for bread, despite the weather being so cold that I was forced to rise long before daylight in the morning, and find, if possible, some warmer place in the house. We had no stoves; no heat of any kind to keep us warm was supplied by the Confederates, and up to this time no clothing or blankets had been furnished by any one. Soon after this, however,--Providence and the good women of the North be thanked,--the Sanitary Commission of the United States sent us each a suit of clothes and a blanket. Directly after the receipt of the clothing, we were removed to Danville, Va. Here we remained until the following spring.

During the time we were at Danville, we suffered considerably from cold and close confinement. The small-pox also broke out among us, and attacked a great many, but in most cases in a mild form. Those afflicted had it as violently as could be expected under the circumstances, their systems being in such a depleted condition that the disease had nothing to feed on. In fear of it, and to prevent it, many were vaccinated. I was not,--and I thank Providence that I was not, as I knew some to suffer worse from vaccination than they could have done from the small-pox, even though it terminated fatally; for it did terminate fatally in the cases of vaccination, and after more suffering than could possibly have ensued from the dreaded disease itself. The vaccine virus proved to be poisonous in some cases. I knew a man whose left arm was eaten to the bone by it, the bone being visible, and the cavity, which was circular in shape, was as large in circumference as an ordinary orange. After months of excruciating pain, the man died. But sometimes vaccination did not even prevent the small-pox. A man with whom the writer bunked was vaccinated, and it "took," what would be considered immensely well, a very large scab developing upon each arm. Yet this man took the small-pox, and badly, while the writer,--to take another view of the case,--although he had not been vaccinated for about thirteen years, and yet had been exposed to the disease in almost every way, and had slept with this man while he was taking it, and after he returned from the small-pox hospital with his sores but partially healed up, remained perfectly free of it.

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