Part 3

In the famous satire of Lucian on the philosophic quackery of his day (about 120 A.D.), "The Sale of the Philosophers," we have a most interesting account of the system of Pythagoras.

Scene--A Slave Mart. Jupiter, Mercury, philosophers, in the garb of slaves, for sale. Audience of buyers.

Jupiter.--Now, you arrange the benches, and get the place ready for the company. You bring out the goods and set them in a row; but trim them up a little first, and make them look their best, to attract as many customers as possible. You, Mercury, must put up the lots, and bid all comers welcome to the sale. Gentlemen,--We are here going to offer you philosophical systems of all kinds, and of the most varied and ingenious description. If any gentleman happens to be short of ready money he can give his security for the amount, and pay next year.

Mercury (to Jupiter).--There are a great many come; so we had best begin at once, and not keep them waiting.

Jupiter.--Begin the sale, then.

Mercury.--Whom shall we put up first?

Jupiter.--This fellow with the long hair--the Ionian. He's rather an imposing personage.

Mercury.--You, Pythagoras, step out, and show yourself to the company.

Jupiter.--Put him up.

Mercury.--Gentlemen, we here offer you a professor of the very best and most select description. Who buys? Who wants to be a cut above the rest of the world? Who wants to understand the harmonies of the universe and to live two lives?

Customer (turning the philosopher round and examining him).--He's not bad to look at. What does he know best?

Mercury.--Arithmetic, astronomy, prognostics, geometry, music, and conjuring. You've a first-rate soothsayer before you.

Customer.--May one ask him a few questions?

Mercury.--Certainly--(aside), and much good may the answers do you.

Customer.--What country do you come from?

Pythagoras.--Samos.

Customer.--Where were you educated?

Pythagoras.--In Egypt, among the wise men there.

Customer.--Suppose I buy you, now, what will you teach me?

Pythagoras.--I will teach you nothing--only recall things to your memory.

Customer.--How will you do that?

Pythagoras.--First, I will clean out your mind, and wash out all the rubbish.

Customer.--Well, suppose that done, how do you proceed to refresh the memory?

Pythagoras.--First, by long repose and silence, speaking no word for five whole years.

Customer.--Why, look ye, my good fellow, you'd best go teach the dumb son of Croesus! I want to talk and not be a dummy. Well--but after this silence, and these five years?

Pythagoras.--You shall learn music and geometry.

Customer.--A queer idea, that one must be a fiddler before one can be a wise man!

Pythagoras.--Then you shall learn the science of numbers.