Part 3

Before I went from home I was very desirous of being admitted a communicant in the congregation which I had always attended, and the old minister, as well as my Aunt, were as desirous of it as myself, but the elders of the Church, who had the government of it, refused me, because, when they interrogated me on the subject of the sin of Adam, I appeared not to be quite orthodox, not thinking that all the human race (supposing them not to have any sin of their own) were liable to the wrath of God, and the pains of hell for ever, on account of that sin only; for such was the question that was put to me. Some time before, having then no doubt of the truth of the doctrine, I well remember being much distressed that I could not feel a proper repentance for the sin of Adam; taking it for granted that without this it could not be forgiven me. Mr. Haggerstone above mentioned, was a little more liberal than the members of the congregation in which I was brought up, being what is called a Baxterian; and his general conversation had a liberal turn, and such as tended to undermine my prejudices. But what contributed to open my eyes still more was the conversation of a Mr. Walker, from Ashton under line, who preached as a candidate when our old minister was superannuated. He was an avowed Baxterian, and being rejected on that account his opinions were much canvassed, and he being a guest at the house of my Aunt, we soon became very intimate, and I thought I saw much of reason in his sentiments. Thinking farther on these subjects, I was, before I went to the academy, an Arminian, but had by no means rejected the doctrine of the trinity, or that of atonement.

BAXTERIANS, The famous Non-conformist Richard Baxter who flourished about the middle of the last Century, attempted a Coalition between the doctrines of Calvin and Arminius. The former of these held that God from the beginning had elected a few of the human race to be saved, without reference to their good actions in this life, and had left the rest of mankind in a state of final and inevitable reprobation. The latter was of opinion that the Christian dispensation furnished the means of final Salvation to all men, though the merits of the death of Christ would be ultimately advantageous to believers only. Baxter, thought with Calvin that some among mankind were from the beginning elected unto eternal life, and gifted from above with the saving grace necessary in the first instance to the several steps of a believer’s christian character; but he thought also with Arminius that all men had common grace imparted to them, sufficient to enable them if they chose, to attain unto final Salvation by using the means ordained by Christ and his Apostles. Calvin also held the final perseverance of the Saints, or as it has since been expressed that a believer might fall foully but not finally, whereas Baxter seems to have thought that not every one who had saving grace imparted to him would persevere to the end, or as the Arminian Methodists quaintly express it, he held that a believer may fall both foully and finally. The compromising doctrine of Baxter may be seen in his very learned and unintelligible work entitled Catholick Theology. He used to be an annual communicant in the Church of England by way of exemplying his accommodating opinions.

T. C.

Though after I saw reason to change my opinions I found myself incommoded by the rigour of the congregation with which I was connected, I shall always acknowledge with great gratitude that I owe much to it. The business of religion was effectually attended to in it. We were all catechized in public ’till we were grown up, servants as well as others: the minister always expounded the scriptures with as much regularity as he preached, and there was hardly a day in the week, in which there was not some meeting of one or other part of the congregation. On one evening there was a meeting of the young men for conversation and prayer. This I constantly attended, praying extempore with others when called upon.

At my Aunt’s there was a monthly meeting of women, who acquitted themselves in prayer as well as any of the men belonging to the congregation. Being at first a child in the family, I was permitted to attend their meetings, and growing up insensibly, heard them after I was capable of judging. My Aunt after the death of her husband, prayed every morning and evening in her family, until I was about seventeen, when that duty devolved upon me.

The Lord’s day was kept with peculiar strictness. No victuals were dressed on that day in any family. No member of it was permitted to walk out for recreation, but the whole of the day was spent at the public meeting, or at home in reading, meditation, and prayer, in the family or the closet.

It was my custom at that time to recollect as much as I could of the sermons I heard, and to commit it to writing. This practice I began very early, and continued it until I was able from the heads of a discourse to supply the rest myself. For not troubling myself to commit to memory much of the amplification, and writing at home almost as much as I had heard, I insensibly acquired a habit of composing with great readiness; and from this practice I believe I have derived great advantage through life; composition seldom employing so much time as would be necessary to write in long hand any thing I have published.

By these means, not being disgusted with these strict forms of religion as many persons of better health and spirits probably might have been (and on which account I am far from recommending the same strictness to others) I acquired in early life a serious turn of mind. Among other things I had at this time a great aversion to Plays and Romances, so that I never read any works of this kind except Robinson Crusoe, until I went to the academy. I well remember seeing my brother Timothy reading a book of Knight Errantry, and with great indignation I snatched it out of his hands, and threw it away. This brother afterwards, when he had for some time followed my father’s business (which was that of a Cloth-dresser) became, if possible, more serious than I had been; and after an imperfect education, took up the profession of a minister among the Independents, in which he now continues.

While I was at the Grammar School I learned Mr. Annet’s Short hand, and thinking I could suggest some improvements in it, I wrote to the Author, and this was the beginning of a correspondence which lasted several years. He was, as I ever perceived, an unbeliever in Christianity and a necessarian. On this subject several letters, written with care on both sides, passed between us, and these Mr. Annet often pressed me to give him leave to publish, but I constantly refused. I had undertaken the defence of Philosophical Liberty, and the correspondence was closed without my being convinced of the fallacy of my arguments, though upon studying the subject regularly, in the course of my academical education afterwards, I became a confirmed Necessarian, and I have through life derived, as I imagine, the greatest advantage from my full persuasion of the truth of that doctrine.

My Aunt, and all my relations, being strict Calvinists, it was their intention to send me to the academy at Mile-end, then under the care of Dr. Cawder. But, being at that time an Arminian, I resolutely opposed it, especially upon finding that if I went thither, besides giving an experience, I must subscribe my assent to ten printed articles of the strictest calvinistic faith, and repeat it every six months. My opposition, however, would probable have been to no purpose, and I must have adopted some other mode of life, if Mr. Kirkby above mentioned had not interposed, and strongly recommended the academy of Dr. Doddridge, on the idea that I should have a better chance of being made a scholar. He had received a good education himself, was a good classical scholar, and had no opinion of the mode of education among the very orthodox Dissenters, and being fond of me, he was desirous of my having every advantage that could be procured for me. My good Aunt, not being a bigotted Calvinist, entered into his views, and Dr. Doddridge being dead, I was sent to Daventry, and was the first pupil that entered there. My Step-mother also, who was a woman of good sense, as well as of religion, had a high opinion of Dr. Doddridge, having been sometime housekeeper in his family. She had always recommended his Academy, but died before I went thither.

Three years, viz. from September 1752 to 1755, I spent at Daventry with that peculiar satisfaction with which young persons of generous minds usually go through a course of liberal study, in the society of others engaged in the same pursuits, and free from the cares and anxieties which seldom fail to lay hold on them when they come out into the world.

In my time, the academy was in a state peculiarly favorable to the serious pursuit of truth, as the students were about equally divided upon every question of much importance, such as Liberty and Necessity, the Sleep of the soul, and all the articles of theological orthodoxy and heresy; in consequence of which all these topics were the subject of continual discussion. Our tutors also were of different opinions; Dr. Ashworth taking the orthodox side of every question, and Mr. Clark, the sub-tutor, that of heresy, though always with the greatest modesty.

Both of our tutors being young, at least as tutors, and some of the senior students excelling more than they could pretend to do in several branches of study, they indulged us in the greatest freedoms, so that our lectures had often the air of friendly conversations on the subjects to which they related. We were permitted to ask whatever questions, and to make whatever remarks, we pleased; and we did it with the greatest, but without any offensive, freedom. The general plan of our studies, which may be seen in Dr. Doddridge’s published lectures, was exceedingly favourable to free enquiry, as we were referred to authors on both sides of every question, and were even required to give an account of them. It was also expected that we should abridge the most important of them for our future use. The public library contained all the books to which we were referred.

It was a reference to Dr. Hartley’s Observations on Man in the course of our Lectures, that first brought me acquainted with that performance, which immediately engaged my closest attention, and produced the greatest, and in my opinion the most favourable effect on my general turn of thinking thro’ life. It established me in the belief of the doctrine of Necessity, which I first learned from Collins; it greatly improved that disposition to piety which I brought to the academy, and freed it from that rigour with which it had been tinctured. Indeed, I do not know whether the consideration of Dr. Hartley’s theory contributes more to enlighten the mind, or improve the heart; it effects both in so super-eminent a degree.

In this situation, I saw reason to embrace what is generally called the heterodox side of almost every question. But notwithstanding this, and though Dr. Ashworth was earnestly desirous to make me as orthodox as possible, yet, as my behaviour was unexceptionable, and as I generally took his part in some little things by which he often drew upon himself the ill-will of many of the students, I was upon the whole a favourite with him. I kept up more or less of a correspondence with Dr. Ashworth till the time of his death, though much more so with Mr. Clark. This continued till the very week of his melancholy death by a fall from his horse at Birmingham, where he was minister.

It will be seen in the course of these memoirs that from time to time as deeper reflection and more extensive reading incited him, he saw reason to give up almost all the peculiar theological and metaphysical opinions which he had imbibed in early youth; some of them with considerable difficulty, and all of them at the evident risk of considerable obloquy from those whom he highly respected, as well as from those on whom his interest appeared to depend.

T. C.

Notwithstanding the great freedom of our speculations and debates, the extreme of heresy among us was Arianism; and all of us, I believe, left the academy with a belief, more or less qualified, of the doctrine of atonement.

Warm friendships never fail to be contracted at places of liberal education; and when they are well chosen are of singular use; Such was mine with Mr. Alexander of Birmingham. We were in the same class, and during the first year occupied the same room. By engagements between ourselves we rose early, and dispatched many articles of business every day. One of them, which continued all the time we were at the academy, was to read every day ten folio pages in some Greek author, and generally a Greek play in the course of the week besides. By this means we became very well acquainted with that language, and with the most valuable authors in it. This exercise we continued long after we left the academy, communicating to each other by letter an account of what we read. My life becoming more occupied than his, he continued his application to Greek longer than I did, so that before his death he was, I imagine, one of the best Greek scholars in this or any other country. My attention was always more drawn to mathematical and philosophical studies than his was.

These voluntary engagements were the more necessary, in the course of our academical studies, as there was then no provision made for teaching the learned languages. We had even no compositions, or orations, in Latin. Our course of lectures was also defective in containing no lectures on the scriptures, or on ecclesiastical history, and by the students in general (and Mr. Alexander and myself were no exceptions) commentators in general and ecclesiastical history also, were held in contempt. On leaving the academy he went to study under his uncle Dr. Benson, and with him learned to value the critical study of the scriptures so much, that at length he almost confined his attention to them.

My other particular friends among my fellow students were Mr. Henry Holland, of my own class, Messrs. Whitehead, Smithson, Rotherham, and Scholefield in that above me, and Mr. Taylor in that below me. With all these I kept up more or less of a correspondence, and our friendship was terminated only by the death of those who are now dead, viz. the three first named of these six, and I hope it will subsist to the same period with those who now survive.

All the while I was at the academy I never lost sight of the great object of my studies, which was the duties of a christian minister, and there it was that I laid the general plan which I have executed since. Particularly I there composed the first copy of my Institutes of Natural and Revealed Religion, Mr. Clark, to whom I communicated my scheme, carefully perusing every section of it, and talking over the subject of it with me.

But I was much discouraged even then with the impediment in my speech, which I inherited from my family, and which still attends me. Sometimes I absolutely stammered, and my anxiety about it was the cause of much distress to me. However, like St. Paul’s thorn in the flesh, I hope it has not been without its use. Without some such check as this, I might have been disputatious in company, or might have been seduced by the love of popular applause as a preacher: whereas my conversation and my delivery in the pulpit having nothing in them that was generally striking, I hope I have been more attentive to qualifications of a superior kind.

It is not, I believe, usual for young persons in dissenting academies to think much of their future situations in life. Indeed, we are happily precluded from that by the impossibility of succeeding in any application for particular places. We often, indeed, amused ourselves with the idea of our dispersion in all parts of the kingdom after living so happily together; and used to propose plans of meeting at certain times, and smile at the different appearance we should probably make after being ten or twenty years settled in the world. But nothing of this kind was ever seriously resolved upon by us. For my own part, I can truly say I had very little ambition, except to distinguish myself by my application to the studies proper to my profession; and I cheerfully listened to the first proposal that my tutor made to me, in consequence of an application made to him, to provide a minister for the people of Needham Market in Suffolk, though it was very remote from my friends in Yorkshire, and a very inconsiderable place.

When I went to preach at Needham as a candidate, I found a small congregation, about an hundred people; under a Mr. Meadows, who was superannuated. They had been without a minister the preceding year, on account of the smallness of the salary; but there being some respectable and agreeable families among them, I flattered myself that I should be useful and happy in the place, and therefore accepted the unanimous invitation to be assistant to Mr. Meadows, with a view to succeed him when he died. He was a man of some fortune.

This congregation had been used to receive assistance from both the Presbyterian and Independent funds; but upon my telling them that I did not chuse to have any thing to do with the Independents, and asking them whether they were able to make up the salary they promised me (which was forty pounds per annum) without any aid from the latter fund, they assured me they could. I soon, however, found that they deceived themselves; for the most that I ever received from them was in the proportion of about thirty pounds per annum, when the expence of my board exceeded twenty pounds.

Notwithstanding this, every thing else for the first half year appeared very promising, and I was happy in the success of my schemes for promoting the interest of religion in the place. I catechised the children, though there were not many, using Dr. Watt’s Catechism; and I opened my lectures on the theory of religion from the institutes, which I had composed at the academy, admitting all persons to attend them without distinction of sex or age; but in this I soon found that I had acted imprudently. A minister in that neighbourhood had been obliged to leave his place on account of Arianism, and though nothing had been said to me on the subject, and from the people so readily consenting to give up the independent fund, I thought they could not have much bigotry among them, I found that when I came to treat of the Unity of God, merely as an article of religion, several of my audience were attentive to nothing but the soundness of my faith in the doctrine of the Trinity.

Also, though I had made it a rule to myself to introduce nothing that could lead to controversy into the pulpit; yet making no secret of my real opinions in conversation, it was soon found that I was an Arian. From the time of this discovery my hearers fell off apace, especially as the old minister took a decided part against me. The principal families, however, still continued with me; but notwithstanding this, my salary fell far short of thirty pounds per annum, and if it had not been for Dr. Benson and Dr. Kippis, especially the former, procuring me now and then an extraordinary five pounds from different charities, I do not believe that I could have subsisted. I shall always remember their kindness to me, at a time when I stood in so much need of it.