Part 10

BRIDGE

BRIDGE

This is a popular pastime, and much of the attention of our best minds in high society is concentrated upon guessing whether a given card is in the hand of the person on the right or on the left.

As there is a great curiosity among all classes of readers concerning bridge, the benevolent author has gone into the etiquette of the game with a good deal of thoroughness.

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In order to be an accomplished bridge player one must possess the following attributes:

A dress suit. (This does not apply to ladies.)

A large roll of clean bills with a rubber band encircling them.

A cigarette and ash tray.

A stoical, blond and unimpassioned nature.

A partner—usually of the opposite sex.

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You may, with safety, criticise nearly every play your fair partner makes. She doubtless deserves it, but, as a rule, this criticism should not extend beyond her faults as a player. Try to remember that a gentleman is one who never unintentionally insults anybody.

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Bridge should never be played seriously. One should carry on an animated conversation during the course of play. It is customary, too, to hold the cards in one hand and a hot buttered muffin in the other. Get up from the table rather frequently and telephone, receive visitors, give orders to the servants, and pour tea. The questions, “Who led?” “What are trumps?” “Is that our trick?” etc., are always permissible, and lend some spirit to what might otherwise prove a dull and taxing game.

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In playing bridge with two ladies, a man should be careful to play “highest man and highest woman.” In this way he will be playing against a man, and his chances of a “settlement” will be a little less remote. Never play with three ladies.

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When you are dummy and your partner has finished playing the hand, you should invariably glare at her (or him) and make one of the following remarks:

You played it the only way to lose the odd!

Why, in Heaven’s name, didn’t you get out the trumps?

You must lose a pot of money at this game, don’t you?

It’s lucky I’m not playing ten-cent points.

Why not take your finesse the other way?

The eight of clubs was good, you know!

Yes, if you had played your ace of diamonds we would have saved it.

It’s a pity you didn’t open the hearts.

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