Part 8

A gentleman driving a mail phaeton in the Park with a lady by his side must, of course, acknowledge all salutes by raising his hat, if he is sufficiently expert to admit of his doing so without risk. It is not every one who can emulate the Prince of Wales, who, when driving a coach, can take a cigar from his lips and raise his hat with the whip-hand, the reins, of course, being in the left. It is not unusual, nowadays, to see a man driven by a lady.

In such a case he must be on the alert to afford her every assistance in his power. In handing a lady up to her place on a coach some expertness is required, especially where the usual short ladder is not available, and she has to mount first on the wheel and then on to the coach itself.

The box-seat of a coach to the left of the driver is considered the place of honour, and the lady invited to occupy it is very appreciative, as a rule, of this mark of attention. It is scarcely necessary to remark that a man must be as careful about the invitations for a drive on his four-in-hand as he would be in other circumstances. A lady would resent being asked to meet any one unsuitable in a drive, even though the latter may be relegated to a back seat.

Sometimes ladies are very anxious to take the reins and drive themselves, a circumstance which has often occasioned agonies of nervousness to other women on the coach. It is quite possible to refuse such a request in a polite and gentlemanly way, partly by seeming to ignore it or laughing it off. It is not a bad plan when some such request is supposed to be imminent to bind oneself beforehand by a promise to one of the timid ladies. This promise can be produced with great effect when occasion arises.

A man usually dismounts when calling for a lady to take her for a ride, if she is to be mounted. Sometimes, however, this rule is remitted, as in the case of a restive and very fresh animal; the groom then assists the lady to mount. The driver of a four-in-hand very seldom dismounts in such circumstances, though, of course, there are exceptions to this as to almost all other rules.

It used to be considered bad manners to smoke when driving with a lady. This is now quite antediluvian, so to speak. Permission must, of course, always be asked of the lady. It is scarcely ever refused, and it is almost an exceptional thing to see a man driving without a cigar between his teeth.

Should the lady driven meet some acquaintances unknown to her charioteer, and wish to stop and converse with them, he raises his hat and awaits her pleasure. She will probably introduce him, but if not he takes no part in the conversation. The only thing he can do is to remain passive, but unless the lady feels justified in introducing him it is an error of taste on her part to enter into conversation with her friends.

Some ladies have a great disinclination to mount a four-in-hand or mail phaeton until the driver is seated with the reins in his hand and in full command of the horses. There is nothing surprising in this, for, after all, the groom who stands at the head of the horses before the start has very little control over them, and one or two disagreeable accidents have occurred in this way, the horses taking fright and escaping from his grasp. Consequently it would be no breach of good manners for the gentleman driving to take his seat and thus reassure his nervous companion.

GAMES AND RECREATIONS.

A man who can play a good game of chess, or even an excellent rubber of whist, must be aware that the acquirement involves an education in itself. Neither is ever likely to become unpopular among the best classes of society. Chess and whist clubs increase in number as time goes on; but for the purposes of everyday life less exigent games are found more useful.

Billiards, backgammon, poker, bézique, baccarat, écarté, draughts, vingt-et-un, and loo may be mentioned among the minor accomplishments with which the modern young man finds it convenient to be equipped. That a bad use has been made of some of these by converting them into media for gambling is not to be denied. At the same time there is no reason why those who play them in moderation should refrain from doing so because others abuse rather than use these means of recreation.

A round game affords a very innocent mode of spending an enjoyable evening, and country-house life especially is often enlivened in this way.

Home life, whether in town or country, is apt to become monotonous, particularly for the young members of the family, if there is not occasionally an amusing game got up to pass away the evening hours, and anything that adds to the attractions of home must at least have one excellent recommendation.

Apart from other considerations, the demeanour of a young man when playing cards affords a very good test of his manners. Some of them appear to think that the only fun to be had out of the game lies in cheating--very open and transparent cheating, to be sure--but still sufficient to spoil the amusement of others. A curious development of money greed is sometimes observable in players, who will show extreme exasperation at the loss of so simple a coin as a penny.

There are many fairly good-tempered men (and women) who evince extreme irritability over games of any kind. To play with such as these is very disagreeable, and the tendency to irascibility should be firmly checked by those who wish to be popular in society.

The host or hostess always takes the lead in these games, or else deputes some one else to do so. It is a sign of ill-breeding when any outsider assumes the command of a game without having been asked to do so.

Unfortunately, gambling games are very popular at some houses, and it is possible for a young man, being unaware of the fact, to be drawn in and lose more than he can afford before he can politely extricate himself.

In such circumstances the only thing he can do is religiously to avoid any such house in future. It is a matter of notoriety that there are men who make good incomes by fleecing the young and inexperienced whom they invite to their houses under the guise of friendship; but even when there is no deliberate dishonesty in question, as in these cases, the host or hostess, out of pure love of gambling, draws in the guests to play for high sums.

Unpardonable, it is true, but such things have to be reckoned with, and avoided, if possible. The matter is not confined to London; country-house life has much to answer for under the same heading.

RULE OF THE ROAD ON THE RIVER.

There is a rule of the road for the river, and those who boat on the Thames on crowded days fervently wish that it were better understood. There does not appear to be any means of acquiring the necessary information. If such means exist they have never come under my notice, and, for at least one summer, I spent many hours daily in that agreeable form of exercise.

Boats coming down with the tide keep the middle of the river; those going against it hug the shore on either side, but in passing other boats coming in the same direction they must go out in a semicircle, leaving the front boat the shore. Tow-boats are always given this advantage.

In meeting other boats coming downstream which really have no right to the shore, but are mistakenly kept near the margin by inexperienced steerers, the boat going up-stream should not go out, but keep towards the land.

The rights of the numerous anglers should be respected; and it is not only courteous but politic to do so, as it is disagreeable to have the lines entangled in the boat.

Row-boats give way to sailing-boats on the river, especially when the latter are tacking to use the breeze. As to steam-launches, their motto too often appears to be that “Might is right.” Occupants of small boats keep a sharp look-out for these.

In passing through the locks the usual politeness of refraining from shooting ahead of boats in front should be observed. Any active emulation of this kind is a very risky business in the same way when pulling a boat over the rollers. A man is bound to yield the pas to ladies or to any boat containing ladies. In fact, the courtesies of the river may be summed up as similar to those on land.

DINNER-PARTIES.

“Mrs. X. requests the pleasure of Mr. L.’s company at dinner on Thursday, the 16th of February, at eight o’clock.”