Part 36

O thank you. It was digging out a veritable well. Now that it's gone, I can't hold back my tears. See how they fall.

WOMEN

I'll wipe them off, bad as you are, and kiss you after all.

MEN

I won't be kissed.

WOMEN

O yes, you will. Your wishes do not matter.

MEN

O botheration take you all! How you cajole and flatter. A hell it is to live with you; to live without, a hell: How truly was that said. But come, these enmities let's quell. You stop from giving orders and I'll stop from doing wrong. So let's join ranks and seal our bargain with a choric song.

CHORUS.

Athenians, it's not our intention To sow political dissension By giving any scandal mention; But on the contrary to promote good feeling in the state By word and deed. We've had enough calamities of late. So let a man or woman but divulge They need a trifle, say, Two minas, three or four, I've purses here that bulge. There's only one condition made (Indulge my whim in this I pray)-- When Peace is signed once more, On no account am I to be repaid.

And I'm making preparation For a gay select collation With some youths of reputation. I've managed to produce some soup and they're slaughtering for me A sucking-pig: its flesh should taste as tender as could be. I shall expect you at my house today. To the baths make an early visit, And bring your children along; Don't dawdle on the way. Ask no one; enter as if the place Was all your own--yours henceforth is it. If nothing chances wrong, The door will then be shut bang in your face.

The SPARTAN AMBASSADORS approach.

CHORUS

Here come the Spartan envoys with long, worried beards. Hail, Spartans how do you fare? Did anything new arise?

SPARTANS

No need for a clutter o' words. Do ye see our condition?

CHORUS

The situation swells to greater tension. Something will explode soon.

SPARTANS

It's awfu' truly. But come, let us wi' the best speed we may Scribble a Peace.

CHORUS

I notice that our men Like wrestlers poised for contest, hold their clothes Out from their bellies. An athlete's malady! Since exercise alone can bring relief.

ATHENIANS

Can anyone tell us where Lysistrata is? There is no need to describe our men's condition, It shows up plainly enough.

CHORUS

It's the same disease. Do you feel a jerking throbbing in the morning?

ATHENIANS