Part 19

In this posture he continued for the space of half a year, or thereabouts, all the while otherwise well, and could go about his business, save once that he had a fall from the Bell as it hangs in our Steeple, which ’twas a wonder it did not kill him: But after that he also walked about, till God had made him a sufficient spectacle of his Judgment for his sin, and then on a sudden he was stricken and dyed miserably: and so there was an end of him and his doings.

I will tell you of another. [Picture: Take note symbol] About four miles from St. Neots, there was a Gentleman had a man, and he would needs be an Informer, and a lusty young man he was. Well, an Informer he was, and did much distress some people, and had perfected his Informations so effectually against some, that there was nothing further to do, but for the Constables to make distress on the people, that he might have the Money or Goods; and as I heard, he hastened them much to do it. Now while he was in the heat of his work, as he stood one day by the Fire-side, he had (it should seem) a mind to a Sop in the Pan, (for the Spit was then at the fire,) so he went to make him one; but behold, a Dog (so say his own Dog) took distaste at something, and bit his Master by the Leg; the which bite, notwithstanding all the means that was used to cure him, turned (as was said) to a Gangrene; however, that wound was his death, and that a dreadful one too: for my Relator said, that he lay in such a condition by this bite, (as the beginning) till his flesh rotted from off him before he went out of the world. But what need I instance in particular persons, when the Judgement of God against this kind of people was made manifest, I think I may say, if not in all, yet in most of the Counties in England where such poor Creatures were. But I would, if it had been the will of God, that neither I nor any body else, could tell you more of these Stories: True stories, that are neither Lye, nor Romance.

Atten. Well, I also heard of both these my self, and of more too, as remarkable in their kind as these, if I had any list to tell them: but let us leave those that are behind to others, or to the coming of Christ, who then will justifie or condemn them as the merit of their work shall require; or if they repented, and found mercy, I shall be glad when I know it, for I wish not a curse to the Soul of mine Enemy.

Wise. There can be no pleasure in the telling of such stories, though to hear of them may do us a pleasure: They may put us in mind that there is a God that judgeth in the earth, and that doth not alwayes forget nor deferre to hear the Crye of the destitute; They also carry along with them both Caution and Counsel to those that are the survivors of such. Let us tremble at the Judgements of God, and be afraid of sinning against him, and it shall be our protection. It shall go well with them that fear God, that fear before him.

Atten. Well Sir, as you have intimated, so I think we have in this place spoken enough about these kind of men; if you please, let us return again to Mr. Badman himself, if you have any more to say of him.

Wise. More! we have yet scarce throughly begun with Any thing that we have said. All the particulars are in themselves so full of badness, that we have rather only looked in them, than indeed said any thing to them: but we will pass them, and proceed. You have heard of the sins of his Youth, of his Apprentiship, and how he set up, and married, and what a life he hath led his wife; and now I will tell you some more {88a} of his pranks. He had the very knack of Knavery; had he, as I said before, been bound to serve an Apprentiship to all these things, he could not have been more cunning, he could not have been more artificial at it.

Atten. Nor perhaps so artificially neither. For as none can teach Goodness like to God himself, so concerning Sin and Knavery, none can teach a man it like the Devil, to whom, as I perceive, Mr. Badman went to School from his Childhood to the end of his life. But pray Sir, make a beginning.

Wise. Well so I will. You may remember that I told you what a condition he was in for Money before he did marry, and how he got a rich Wife, with whose Money he paid his debts: Now when he had paid his debts, he having some Moneys left, he sets up again {88b} as briskly as ever, keeps a great Shop, drives a great Trade, and runs again a great way into debt; but now not into the debt of one or two, but into the debt of many, so that at last he came to owe some thousands; and thus he went on a good while. And to pursue his ends the better, he began now to study to please all men, and to suit himself to any company; he could now be as they, say as they, that is, if he listed; and then he would list, when he perceived that by so doing, he might either make them his Customers or Creditors for his Commodities. If he dealt with honest men, (as with some honest men he did) then he would be as they; talk as they, seem to be sober as they, talk of Justice and Religion as they, and against Debauchery as they; yea, and would too seem to shew a dislike of them that said, did, or were otherwise than honest.

Again, when he did light among those that were bad, then he would be as they, but yet more close and cautiously, except he were sure of his company: Then he would carry it openly, be as they; say, Damn’em and Sink’em, as they. If they railed on Good men, so could he; {89} if they railed on Religion, so could he: if they talked beastly, vainly, idlely, so would he; if they were for drinking, swearing, whoring, or any the like Villanies, so was he. This was now the path he trod in, and could do all artificially, as any man alive. And now he thought himself a perfect man, he thought he was always a Boy till now. What think you now of Mr. Badman?

Atten. Think! why, I think he was an Atheist: For no man but an Atheist can do this. I say, it cannot be, but that the man that is such as this Mr. Badman, must be a rank and stinking Atheist; for he that believes that there is either God or Devil, Heaven or Hell, or Death, and Judgment after, cannot doe as Mr. Badman did; I mean, if he could do these things without reluctancy and check of Conscience; yea, if he had not sorrow and remorse for such abominable sins as these.

Wise. Nay, he was so far off from reluctancies and remorse of Conscience for these things, that he counted them the excellency of his Attainments, the quintessence of his Wit, his rare and singular vertues, such as but few besides himself could be the Masters of. Therefore, as for those that made boggle and stop at things, and that could not in Conscience, and for fear of Death and Judgement, do such things as he; he would call them Fools and Noddies, and charge them for being frighted with the talk of unseen Bugbears; and would encourage them, if they would be men indeed, to labour after the attainment of this his excellent art. He would often-times please himself {90a} with the thoughts of what he could do in this matter, saying within himself; I can be religious, and irreligious, I can be any thing, or nothing; I can swear, and speak against swearing; I can lye, and speak against lying; I can drink, wench, be unclean, and defraud, and not be troubled for it: Now I enjoy my self, and am Master of mine own wayes, and not they of me. This I have attained with much study, great care, and more pains. But this his talk should be only with himself, to his wife, who he knew durst not divulge it; or among his Intimates, to whom he knew he might say any thing.

Atten. Did I call him before an Atheist? I may call him now a Devil, or a man possessed with one, if not with many. I think that there cannot be found in every corner such an one as this. True, it is said of King Ahaz, that he sinned more and more; and of Ahab, that he sold himself to work wickedness; and of the men of Sodom, that they were sinners exceedingly before the Lord. {90b}

Wise. An Atheist he was no doubt, if there be such a thing as an Atheist in the world, but for all his brags of perfection and security in his wickedness, I believe that at times God did let down fire from Heaven into his Conscience. True, I believe he would quickly put it out again, and grow more desperate and wicked afterward, but this also turned to his destruction, as afterward you may hear. {90c}

But I am not of your mind, to think that there are but few such in the world; except you mean as to the Degree of wickedness unto which he had attained. For otherwise, no doubt, {90d} there is abundance of such as he: men of the same mind, of the same principles, and of the same conscience too, to put them into practice. Yea, I believe that there are many that are endeavouring to attain to the same pitch of wickedness; and all them are such as he, in the Judgment of the Law; nor will their want of hellish wit to attain thereto, excuse them at the day of Judgment. You know that in all Science, some are more arch than some; and so it is in the art, as well as in the practice of wickedness: some are two-fold, and some seven-fold more the children of Hell than others, (and yet all the children of Hell,) else they would all be Masters, and none scholars in the school of wickedness. But there must be Masters, and there must be Learners; Mr. Badman was a master in this art, and therefore it follows that he must be an arch and chief one in that mystery.

Atten. You are in the right, for I perceive that some men, though they desire it, cannot be so arch in the practice thereof as others, but are (as I suppose they call them) fools and dunces to the rest, their heads and capacities will not serve them to act and do so wickedly. But Mr. Badman wanted not a wicked head to contrive, as well as a wicked heart to do his wickedness.

Wise. True, but yet I say, such men shall at the day of Judgment, be judged, not only for what they are, but also for what they would be. For if the thought of foolishness is sin, {91a} doubtless the desire of foolishness is more sin: and if the desire be more, the endeavour after it must needs be more and more. {91b} He then that is not an artificial Atheist and Transgressor, yet if he desires to be so, if he endeavoureth to be so, he shall be Judged and condemned to Hell for such an one. For the Law Judgeth men, as I said, according to what they would be. He that looketh upon a woman to lust after her, hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. {91c} By the same rule, he that would steal, doth steal; he that would cheat, doth cheat; he that would swear, doth swear; and he that would commit adultery, doth do so. For God Judgeth men according to the working of their minds, and saith; As he thinketh, so is he. That is, so is he in his heart, in his intentions, in his desires, in his endeavours; and Gods Law, I say, lays hold of the desires, intentions and endeavours, even as it lays hold of the act of wickedness it self. {91d} A man then that desires to be as bad as Mr. Badman, (and desires to be so wicked have many in their hearts) though he never attains to that proficiency in wickedness as he, shall yet be Judged for as bad a man as he, because ’twas in his desires to be such a wicked one.

Atten. But this height of wickedness in Mr. Badman, will not yet out of my mind. This hard, desperate, or what shall I call it, diabolicall frame of heart, was in him a foundation, a ground-work, to all acts and deeds that were evil.

Wise. The heart, and the desperate wickedness of it, is the foundation and groundwork of all. Atheism, professed and practicall, spring both out of the heart, yea and all manner of evils besides. {92a} For they be not bad deeds that make a bad man, but he is already a bad man that doth bad deeds. A man must be wicked before he can do wickedness. {92b} Wickedness proceedeth from the wicked. ’Tis an evil tree that bears evil fruit, men gather no grapes of thorns; the heart therefore must be evil, before the man can do evil, and good before the man doth good.

Atten. Now I see the reason why Mr. Badman was so base, as to get a Wife by dissimulation, and to abuse her so like a Villain when he had got her, it was because he was before by a wicked heart prepared to act wickedness.

Wise. You may be sure of it; for from within, out of the heart of man proccedeth evil thoughts, Adulteries, Fornications, Murders, Thefts, Coveteousness, Wickedness, Deceit, Lasciviousness, an evil Eye, Blasphemy, Pride, Foolishness. All these things come from within, and defile a man. {92c} And a man, as his naughty mind inclines him, makes use of these, or any of these, to gratifie his lust, to promote his designs, to revenge his malice, to enrich, or to wallow himself in the foolish pleasures and pastimes of this life: And all these did Mr. Badman do, even to the utmost, if either opportunity, or purse, or perfidiousness, would help him to the obtaining of his purpose.

Atten. Purse! Why he could not but have Purse to do almost what he would, having married a wife with so much money.

Wise. Hold you there; some of Mr. Badmans sins were costly, as his drinking, and whoring, and keeping other bad company; though he was a man that had ways too many to get money, as well as ways too many to spend it.

Atten. Had he then such a good Trade, for all he was such a bad man? or was his Calling so gainfull to him, as alwayes to keep his Purses belly full, though he was himself a great spender?

Wise. No: It was not his Trade that did it, though he had a pretty trade too. He had another way to get Money, and that by hatfulls and pocketfulls at a time.

Atten. Why I trow he was no Highway man, was he?

Wise. I will be sparing in my speech as to that, though some have muttered as if he could ride out now and then, about no body but himself knew what, over night, and come home all dirty and weary next morning. But that is not the thing I aim at.

Atten. Pray let me know it, if you think it convenient that I should.

Wise. I will tell you: It was this, he had an art to Break, {93a} and get hatfulls of money by breaking.