Hermione and Her Little Group of Serious Thinkers is a public-domain classic of literature and fiction by Don Marquis.
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HERMIONE AND HER LITTLE GROUP OF SERIOUS THINKERS
BY DON MARQUIS
CONTENTS
PROEM Introducing Some of Hermione's Friends
Sincerity in the Home
Vibrations
Aren't the Russians Wonderful?
How Suffering Purifies One!
Understanding and One's Own Home
Thoughts of Heredity and Things
The Swami Brandranath
Fothergil Finch, the Poet of Revolt
How the Swami Happened to Have Seven Wives
The Romantic Old Days
Hermione's Boswell Explains
Symbols and Dew-Hopping
The Song of the Snore
Ballads of Understanding
Hermione on Fashions and War
Urges and Dogs
Moods and Poppies
Concentration
Soul Mates
Hermione Takes up Literature
The World Is Getting Better
War and Art
A Spiritual Dialogue
Will the Best People Receive the Superman Socially?
The Parasite Woman Must Go!
The House Beautiful
Mamma Is So Mid-Victorian
Voke Easely and His New Art
Hermione on Superficiality
Isis, the Astrologist
The Simple Home Festivals
Citronella and Stegomyia
Hermione's Salon Opens (Verse)
The Perfume Factory
On Being Other-Worldly
Parents, and Their Influence
Fothergil Finch Tell of His Revolt Against Organized Society
The Exotic and the Unemployed
Souls and Toes
Kultur and Things
The Spirit of Christmas
Poor Dear Mamma and Fothergil Finch
Prison Reform and Poise
An Example of Psychic Power
Some Beautiful Thoughts
The Bourgeois Element and Background
Taking Up the Liquor Problem
The Japanese are Wonderful, If You Get What I Mean
She Refuses to Give UP the Cosmos
The Cave Man
The Little Group Gives a Pagan Masque
Sympathy
Blouses, Bulgars, and Buttermilk
Twilight Sleep
Intuition
Stimulating Influences
Politics
Hermione on Psychical Research
Envoy Hermione the Deathless
HERMIONE
PROEM
(Introducing some of Hermione's Friends)
I visited one night, of late, Thoughts Underworld, the Brainstorm Slum, The land of Futile Piffledom; A salon weird where congregate Freak, Nut and Bug and Psychic Bum.
There, there, they sit and cerebrate: The fervid Pote who never potes, Great Artists, Male or She, that Talk But scorn the Pigment and the chalk, And Cubist sculptors wild as Goats, Theosophists and Swamis, too, Musicians mad as Hatters be-- (E'en puzzled Hatters, two or three!) Tame anarchists, a dreary crew, Squib Socialists too damp to sosh, Fake Hobohemians steeped in suds, Glib females in Artistic Duds With Captive Husbands cowed and gauche.
I saw some Soul Mates side by side Who said their cute young Souls were pink; I saw a Genius on the Brink (Or so he said) of suicide. I saw a Playwright who had tried But couldn't make the Public think; I saw a novelist who cried, Reading his own Stuff, in his drink; I saw a vapid egg-eyed Gink Who said eight times: "Art is my bride!"
A queen in sandals slammed the Pans And screamed a Chinese chant at us, the while a Hippopotamus Shook tables, book-shelves and divans With vast Terpsichorean fuss . . . Some Oriental kind of muss . . . .
A rat-faced Idiot Boy who slimes White paper o'er with metric crimes-- He is a kind of Burbling Blear Who warbles Sex Slush sad to hear And mocks God in his stolen rhymes and wears a ruby in one ear-- Murder to me: "My Golden Soul Drinks Song from out a Crystal Bowl. . . . Drinks Love and Song . . . my Golden Soul!" I let him live. There were no bricks.
Or even now that Golden Soul were treading water in the Styx.
A Pallid Skirt -- Anemic Wisp, As bloodless as a stick of chalk -- Got busy with this line of talk: "The Sinner is Misunderstood! How can the Spirit enter in, Be blended with, the Truly Good Unless through Sympathy with Sin?"
"Phryne," I murmured, sad and low, "I pass the Buck--I do not know!"
Upon a mantel sat a Bust. . . . Some Hindu god, pug-faced and squat; A visage to inspire disgust. . . . Lord Bilk, the Deity of Rot. . . . Nay, surely, 'twas the great god Bunk, For when I wunk at it, it wunk!
I heard . . . I heard it proved that night That Fire is Cold, and Black is White, That Junk is Art, and Art is Junk, That Virtue's wrong, and Vice is right, That Death is Life, and Life is Death, That Breath is Rocks, and Rocks are Breath:--
The Cheap and easy paradox The Food springs, hoping that it shocks. . . .
Brain-sick I stumbled to the street And drooled onto a kindly Cop: "Since moons have feathers on their feet, Why is your headgear perched on top? And if you scorn the Commonplace, Why wear a Nose upon your Face? And since Pythagoras is mute on Sex Hygiene and Cosmic Law, Is your Blonde Beast as Bland a Brute, As Blind a Brute, as Bernard Shaw? No doubt, when drilling through the parks, With Ibsen's Ghost and Old Doc Marx, You've often seen two Golden Souls Drink Suds and Sobs from Crystal Bowls?"
"I ain't," he says, "I ain't, Old Kid, And I would pinch 'em if I did!"
"Thank God," I said, "for this, at least: The world, in spots, is well policed!"
SINCERITY IN THE HOME
SINCERITY should be the keynote of a life, don't you think?
Sincerity -- beauty -- use -- these are my watchwords.
I heard such an interesting talk on sincerity the other evening. I belong to a Little Group of Serious Thinkers who are taking up sincerity in all its phases this week.
We discussed Sincerity in the Home.
So many people's homes, you know, do not represent anything personal.
The SINCERE home should be full of purpose and personality -- decorations, rugs, ornaments, hangings and all, you know.
The home shows the soul.
So I'm doing over our house from top to bottom, putting personality into it.
I've a room I call the Ancestor's Room.
You know, when one has ancestors, one's ancestral traditions keep one up to the mark, somehow. You know what I mean -- blood will tell, and all that. Ancestors help one to be sincere.
So I've finished my Ancestors' Room with all sorts of things to remind me of the dear dead-and-gone people I get my traditions from.
Heirlooms and portraits and things, you know.
Of course, all our own family heirlooms were destroyed in a fire years ago.
So I had to go to the antique shops for the portraits and furniture and chairs and snuff boxes and swords and fire irons and things.
I bought the loveliest old spinet -- truly, a fine!
I can sit down to it and image I am my own grandmother's grandmother, you know.
And it's wonderful to sit among those old heir- looms and feel the sense of my ancestors' personalities throbbing and pulsing all about me!
I feel, when I sit at the spinet, that my personality is truly represented by my surroundings at last.
I feel that I have at last achieved sincerity in the midst of my traditions.
And there's a picture of the loveliest old lady . . . old fashioned costume, you know, and all that . . . and the hair dressed in a very peculiar way. . . .
Mamma says its a MADE-UP picture -- not really an antique at all -- but I can just feel the personality vibrating from it.
I got it at a bargain, too.
I call her -- the picture, you know -- after an ancestress of mine who came to this country in the old Colonial days.
With William the Conqueror, you know -- or maybe it was William Penn. But it couldn't have been William Penn, could it? For she went to New Jersey -- Orange, N.J. Was it William of Orange? More than likely . . .
Anyhow, I call the picture after her -- Lady Clarissa, I call it. She married a commoner, as so many of the early settlers of this country did.
When I sit at the spinet and look at Lady Clarissa I often wonder what people do without family traditions.
And its such a comfort to know I'm in a room that really represents my personality.
VIBRATIONS
Have you thought much about Vibrations?
We're taking them up this week -- a Little Group of Advanced Thinkers I belong to, you know -- and they're wonderfully worth while -- WONDERFULLY so!
That's what I always ask myself -- is a thing WORTH WHILE? Or isn't it?
Vibrations are the key to everything. Atoms used to be, but Atoms have quite gone out.
The thing that makes the new dances so wonder- fully beneficial, you know, is that they give you Vibrations.
To an untrained mind, of course, Vibrations would be dangerous.
But I always feel that the right sort of mind will get good out of everything, and the wrong sort will get harm.
The most interesting woman talked to us the other night -- to our little group, you know -- on one- piece bathing suits and the Greek spirit.
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