Part 9

(I've forgotten the rest of the poem, but it's something about "a bomb" and "If only he'd known.")]

Old Bill has practically decided to get Private Shinio (the ex-comedy-juggler and hand-balancer) transferred to another platoon.]

What is so particularly annoying to Private Lovebird is, that he would not have had this bother with his dug-out if his leave had not been postponed.]

"I wonder if I oughtn't to tell the captain about that thing sticking up in the sea over there."]

"You chuck another sardine at me, my lad, and you'll hear from my solicitors."]

"They must 'ave 'ad some good news or somethin', Alf; you can 'ear 'em cheerin' quite plain."]

"There's evidently goin' to be an offensive around 'ere, Bert."]

"Well, what's your job, me lad?"

"Making spots for rocking-horses, sir."

"Three months."

"Exemption, sir?"

"Nao, exemption be ----d! Three months' hard!"]

"Yes--funny!"

The Stargazers.

--and their return to earth.]

"Call me a Tank again, my lad, and I'll knock yer ---- 'ead off!"]

"'Ere, Guy Fawkes--buzz off!"]

Cox's.

When one feels rather in favour of floating a War Loan of one's own.]

"These 'ere staff cars do splash a lot, don't they, Bill?" (No answer.)]

Moments when the Savoy, the Alhambra, and the Piccadilly Grill seem very far away (the offensive starts in half an hour).]

That Leave Train

Second lieutenant Enoch Arden arrives on leave

Fred!

"The train was a bit late darling"

That "Leave" Train.]

"What could Napoleon have done in the Great War?"

He could certainly not have gone in for this