Part 7

Unfortunately I had not got as far as your chapter on Upper Cuts or I feel sure I should not be where I am now

yrs truly

Clearing Station GezainCourt.

Bruce Bairnsfather

The demand for fighters exceeds the supply

Write today

The Asphyxobomb School of Instruction

Hooge.

Tips for Tommies.

Now that the war has become a world business, we must at any moment expect the appearance of this sort of thing in our papers.]

Yet somehow or other, when one starts for that 220 yards handicap across the turnip field, it feels something like this.

Bruce Bairnsfather

The Offensive.

What it looks like--and what it feels like.]

"Mind you don't fall through the seat of yer trousers, 'Arry!"]

Telepathy.

"Two minds with but a single thought."]

"Tell 'er to 'op it, Bert. I'm sittin' on a bit o' shell or somethin'."]

"Here with a loaf of bread beneath the row, A muttered curse, but ne'er a whine, and thou-- Beside me, singing in the wilderness, The wilderness is Paradise enow."]

"Let's 'ave this pin of yours a minute. I'll soon 'ave these winkles out of 'ere."]

"A few more, Bert, and that there château won't be worth livin' in."]

"I wish they'd 'old this war in England--don't you, Bill?" (No answer.)]

"Well, Friday--'ow's Crusoe?"]

Fricourt--July, 1916.]

THE VIGILANT ONE: "I say, old chap, what does two green lights and one red one mean?"

RECUMBENT GLADIATOR (just back from leave): "Two crêmes de menthe and a cherry brandy!"]

"You wait till I comes off dooty!"]

"Quick, afore this comes down!"]