FANNY. Yes. Oh, yes.
CANADA [“Gerty,” a big, handsome girl, with a loud, commanding voice]. George gave me your message.
FANNY [puzzled at first]. My message? [Remembering—laughs.] Oh. That I was Lady Bantock of Bantock Hall. Yes. I thought you’d be pleased.
CANADA. Was delighted, dear.
FANNY. So glad.
CANADA. I’d always had the idea that you were going to make a mess of your marriage.
FANNY. What a funny idea! [But the laugh that accompanies it is not a merry one.]
CANADA. Wasn’t it? So glad I was wrong.
WALES. We’re all of us looking out for lords in disguise, now. Can’t you give us a tip, dear, how to tell ’em?
SCOTLAND. Sukey has broken it off with her boy. Found he was mixed up in trade.
STRAITS SETTLEMENTS [as before, unseen at back of crowd]. No. I didn’t. ’Twas his moral character.
Then enter Honoria with glasses on a tray; Ernest with champagne; Jane with eatables; Bennet with a napkin. It is a grim procession. The girls are scattered, laughing, talking: Africa to the Misses Wetherell; a couple to Dr. Freemantle. England, Scotland, Wales, and Canada are with Fanny. The hubbub, with the advent of the refreshments, increases. There is a general movement towards the refreshments.
FANNY. Thanks, Bennet. You can clear away a corner of the desk.
ENGLAND [aside to her]. Go easy with it, dear. [Fanny, smiling, nods. She directs operations in a low tone to the Bennets, who take her orders in grim silence and with lips tight shut.] Don’t forget, girls, that we’ve got to get back to-night. [Aside to the Doctor, who has come forward to help.] Some of ’em, you know, ain’t used to it.
DR. FREEMANTLE [nods]. Glasses not too full. [He whispers to Fanny.]
IRELAND [a decided young woman]. How much time have we got?
ENGLAND. Don’t ask me. It’s Judy’s show.
WALES [mimicking Newte]. The return train, ladies, leaves Oakham station. [Stops—she is facing the clock. She begins to laugh.]
ENGLAND. What’s the matter?
WALES [still laughing]. We’ve got just quarter of an hour to catch it.
There is a wild rush for the refreshments. Jane is swept off her feet. Bennet’s tray is upset.
ENGLAND. Quarter—! Oh, my Gawd! Here, tuck up your skirts, girls. We’ll have to—
DR. FREEMANTLE. It’s all right. You’ve got plenty of time, ladies. There’s a train from Norton on the branch line at 5.33. Gets you into London at a quarter to nine.
ENGLAND. You’re sure?
DR. FREEMANTLE [he has his watch in his hand]. Quite sure. The station is only half a mile away.
ENGLAND. Don’t let’s miss it. Keep your watch in your ’and, there’s a dear.
FANNY [her business is—and has been—to move quietly through the throng, making the girls welcome, talking, laughing with them, directing the servants—all in a lady’s way. On the whole she does it remarkably well. She is offering a plate of fruit to Judy]. You’re a nice acting manager, you are. [Judy laughs. Fanny finds herself in front of Ireland. She turns to England.] Won’t you introduce us?
ENGLAND. I beg your pardon, dear. Of course, you don’t know each other. Miss Tetsworth, our new Ireland, Lady Bantock. It is “Bantock,” isn’t it, dear?
Fanny and the Servant Problem · The Wunder Library — complete classics, free to read, with narration.