Part 7

Mr. and Mrs. Truman are greatly obliged by Mr. and Mrs. Bristow’s kind invitation, and will do themselves the honor of waiting upon them.

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Mr. and Mrs. Truman are exceedingly sorry that a pre-engagement will prevent them from accepting Mr. and Mrs. Bristow’s kind invitation.

DINNER PARTIES.

Whenever dinners are given to invited guests, civility requires that an early answer should be returned; for the proper wording of such answers, I refer you to the Notes of Invitation, where full directions are given. An acceptance, in such a case, should be as binding as a promissory note; and no light cause should ever be allowed to prevent your fulfilling your engagement. Want of punctuality at a dinner party, is an affront to the whole company, as well as to the gentleman and lady of the house.

A ceremonious dinner requires that the company be well and handsomely dressed, though not in such gay attire as is usually worn at a ball or evening party.

Arrived at the place, and disrobed of your cloak, let your gloves be on, and with erect form and firm step, enter the parlor. Look towards the lady of the house, and walk up at once to her, not turning to the right or the left, or noticing any one, until you have made your bow to her, and to the host. Then you may turn off towards the young people, and take a seat among them, with that agreeable expression of sympathy on your face, which encourages conversation.

On entering the dining-room, you must use your eyes to discover which part of the table is considered the most honorable. Try to seat yourself among the least important portion of the company, unless desired by the lady or gentleman of the house to take a particular seat.

When fairly seated in the right place, spread your napkin in your lap to protect your dress from accident; take off your gloves, and put them in your lap, under your napkin.

When you send your plate for anything, whether by the hand of a servant or friend, take off the knife and fork, and lay them down on the cloth, supporting the ends on your bread, or hold them in your hand in a horizontal position.

After dinner, you are expected to take leave more generally and sociably, than after any other kind of party, except it be a small supper party.

GOING INTO COMPANY.

A young person ought to be able to go into a room, and address the company, without the least embarrassment.

Ignorance and vice are the only things of which we need be ashamed. Avoid these, and you may go into what company you will.

A modest assurance in every part of life, is the most advantageous qualification we can possibly acquire.

GOOD BREEDING.

To show the politeness of a true gentleman, you must be quick to observe four things:

1. What your place is.

2. What is due to every person.

3. How to do what is proper in an agreeable manner.

4. How to make yourself acceptable to others, in person, manners, and conversation.

You can be as polite to the boot-black as to the President. This is done, not by an air of condescension, but by treating him as a man, according to his place. Render him his due, and he will be likely to render you yours.

The same person who is overbearing to his inferiors, is likely to show a cringing servility to his superiors. Both faults are marks of a mean and groveling mind. Maintain your self-respect, if you would enjoy the respect of others.

Cherish that delicacy of sentiment, that quick sympathy with others, that nice sense of justice which will make you as regardful of their feelings as of their more substantial rights, and you will not fail to be polite. Without the sentiments of a gentleman, you may know all the rules of politeness, and be scrupulously observant of all the external forms of good breeding, and yet never be a gentleman.

In short, to be a true gentleman, you must be generous and noble, as well as just and courteous. You must be scrupulously careful to be--Pure in body, pure in manners, pure in morals, and pure in heart.

Follow fashion moderately, if you would follow it gracefully. Never rely on dress to make you a gentleman. It is as flimsy a disguise as the lion’s skin was to the ass; his braying betraying him, and his unsuitable attire only made him appear the more ridiculous.

A good enunciation is a distinctive mark of good breeding. Speak your words plainly and distinctly, and in a moderate tone of voice. Pronounce words in the manner that is used by the best bred persons, but not affectedly, or with a strained precision. Avoid all vulgar or inaccurate vowel sounds, as keow, ile, soit, for cow, oil, sight. Do not slip or smother your consonants, as gen’lm’n for gentleman, mornin’ for morning, &c.

CLEANLINESS.