Part 11

he is a man who

in a hasty manner

hastily

this is a subject which

this subject

His story is a strange one.

His story is strange.

In especial the expression the fact that should be revised out of every sentence in which it occurs.

owing to the fact that

since (because)

in spite of the fact that

though (although)

call your attention to the fact that

remind you (notify you)

I was unaware of the fact that

I was unaware that (did not know)

the fact that he had not succeeded

his failure

the fact that I had arrived

my arrival

See also under case, character, nature, system in Chapter V.

Who is, which was, and the like are often superfluous.

His brother, who is a member of the same firm

His brother, a member of the same firm

Trafalgar, which was Nelson's last battle

Trafalgar, Nelson's last battle

As positive statement is more concise than negative, and the active voice more concise than the passive, many of the examples given under Rules 11 and 12 illustrate this rule as well.

A common violation of conciseness is the presentation of a single complex idea, step by step, in a series of sentences or independent clauses which might to advantage be combined into one.