Part 5

The venerable Professor Virchow, the other day, in an address before the International Congress of Physicians at Moscow, made use, in substance, of these words: "The cell is immortal--there must have been a previous cell for its generation. On this fact as a basis (ascertained by the aid of the microscope) the science of the coming century may securely rest."

And he set this down as the greatest achievement of science in respect to the recognition of the phenomena of life. Yet there is nothing more fallible than the microscope in ascertaining facts regarding the knowledge of life. It may to some extent reveal the essence of matter, but it is not given to it to assist in recognizing the principles which govern life and the spirit of life.

FRAGMENTS

This book, in a sense, is a personal narrative, and necessarily must be so, giving an account, as it does, of observations in experiments upon myself. In making these experiments I have endeavored to treat myself impersonally, as a subject, so to say, placed at my disposal for experimental purposes; my ego having been the object as well as the subject of my investigations. In occasionally speaking of the results thus obtained in a eulogistic manner, this should not be looked upon as self-praise, therefore, but rather as an impersonal mode of describing what has come under some one's observation--this "some one" being myself. I want to place the matters I have observed before the reader in the right light, and do not hesitate to say or fear to say just what I think to be the truth. If I were to wait for others to say these things the reader who does not comprehend their latitude as I do might have to wait a long time before he could grasp the subject in its entire importance. I want to say this much as an apology and a vindication for frequent indulgences in apparent self-eulogism.

I have another motive for making such remarks; viz., the desire of rousing the scientific world from its apathy regarding these matters. These laudatory remarks may wound its pride, and possibly arouse its ire,--more especially in view of their coming from a layman,--and thus induce it to study these matters, if but for the purpose and with the view of controverting them. I would hail such an endeavor with pleasure, not having the slightest fear of its ability to successfully controvert any of the vital facts I have ascertained, and whose correctness I expect to prove by a great array of facts with accompanying proofs.

When I first began to make these studies, I made numerous notes as new features happened to present themselves to my mind. I have encountered no inconsiderable difficulty in sifting this material so as to present my experiences in as connected and consecutive a manner as possible. In this, however, I have only partially succeeded; nor have I been able to altogether avoid repetitions. For these shortcomings I must plead a want of time. For some time past, however, my experiences have accumulated so rapidly that I have ceased to take any notes whatever, trusting to my memory that these mental notes may be recalled at the proper time. No doubt some things, even of importance, have thus been lost sight of. Still, while pursuing similar studies, they may in the course of time turn up in some one else's mind.

In looking over some of my notes I have found things which I have deemed worthy of preservation. I let some of these follow in a promiscuous manner. This, it must be admitted, is not in accordance with scientific usage. But I am not a scientist, simply an amateur; and take advantage of the privileges this fact gives me. If I were to conform to strict scientific rules and "etiquette," years might elapse before I could get these matters into proper shape. It will always remain a mystery to me, however, why these things should have come to me at all--so unworthy, so unadapted to their proper exposition. In order to do them justice, they should have come to one complete master of his time, young, strong, possessed of a wide range of knowledge and a deep insight.

I will now let follow some of the matters I have spoken of:

My personality and my work must go together, until others relieve me of the latter by making it their work to the same extent that I have made it mine. You cannot separate the fiddle from the fiddler, neither having any significance apart from each other, except by the fiddler perpetuating that which the fiddle produces--the composition,--by writing it down, thus transmitting it to others. This I am trying to do by this book.

No doubt some of the things which have come under my observation in some form or other are already known to science, and are, therefore, a corroboration, or an explanation, only, of things already known. With me, nevertheless, all is original; and I may therefore justly claim that if any of these matters have been discovered before, I, at least, have re-discovered them.

If I were an institution possessing a guaranty of continued existence I might value the present lightly, knowing a future would come when these matters will be fully understood. Being a creature of the present, however, which may be turned into the past--especially at my time of life--at almost any moment, these matters should become known at the earliest opportunity; some of them being of so subtle a nature that they may require personal explanation and illustration. They have been hidden from us in the past; should they fail to be made known now, the same opportunity may not arise again for centuries.

* * * * *

I do not claim any special sagacity over others for having made these discoveries, and disbelieve altogether in miraculous interposition. Yet I do not want to be prejudiced in any direction.

We are surrounded by the mysterious and the miraculous; and that which is called "natural" as a rule is far more mysterious than that which is called "miraculous."

"Truth is stranger than fiction"; which is undoubtedly true. We can imagine that only of which we have at least some knowledge, but there are realms of truth beyond us of which we have no knowledge. Besides, these revelations are of so extraordinary a nature that I cannot altogether close my eyes to the fact that I may have been led on to them by agencies beyond my personal power of volition. I will cite but one reason why such an idea might be justly entertained by me.

That which originally led me on to these investigations, as already mentioned, was the simple desire to speak the English language just as native-born persons speak it. Although I eventually became aware of the fact that this was next to impossible, yet I persisted in this endeavor to such an extent that I spent far more time on it than it would have deserved had I been convinced that I would be finally successful. Again and again I said to myself, "This is a foolish, absurd, unworthy undertaking for a person of intelligence"; the next minute I was at it again, trying to utter this sound or pronounce that word in the "correct English fashion."

I want to ask, What was it that impelled me to thus persist, almost against my wish, will, and better insight? When, after many years of this almost wanton endeavor, I discovered the dual nature of the voice, I could not help but think that an influence beyond myself had been exercised to impel me to persist in these efforts, which were then crowned with a success of a different order, and far beyond any previous expectation. I then found what I had been after unknown to myself. To simply say I was "infatuated" would not explain this strange adherence to what for a long while looked like a vain and hopeless undertaking.

I am aware that for me to say, as I have just now said, "I cannot altogether close my eyes to the fact that I may have been led on by agencies beyond my personal power of volition," may expose me to ridicule in the eyes of some persons; besides being a contradiction to my other convictions. Yet I say so deliberately and am quite willing to abide by the consequences. It is a case of the duality of our nature, which impels me to take a naturalistic or biogenetic view of things in one direction, yet forces me to take a spiritualistic or abiogenetic view of them in another direction. I do not comprehend those who under all circumstances are capable of pursuing either the one direction or the other.

* * * * *

I might say I have been on a prospecting tour to a new country, where I found the outcroppings of numerous veins of precious ore. These veins are true fissure veins, penetrating, as they do, into the very bowels of the earth; and it will take centuries to exhaust them in all their dips, spurs, and angles.

* * * * *

It will be a matter of surprise that a layman, one not of the tribe which make science the pursuit of their lives, should have penetrated into these mysteries. It must not be lost sight of, however, that science, as a rule, deals with things visible and tangible, while the voice is a sensation which, regarding its origin in the ego, cannot be observed outside of the ego. One may by close observation trace the origin of one's voice to its innermost channels, and thus learn much about the subtlest characteristics of its nature, a proceeding to which it would not be possible to subject any one else's voice. The same conditions prevail in regard to other sensations which have also come under my, at least, partial observation.

* * * * *

Science, as a rule, has been satisfied with the observation of results, of phenomena, without attempting to penetrate into causes, which seemed to be unalterably hidden from its gaze. Special features, however, of the voice have been ably and successfully observed and described by many eminent persons. To these I have not given any attention, partly because they were beyond my sphere, and partly (not being a musician) because they were beyond my power of observation.

* * * * *

In looking for the voice, anatomy in its minute examinations of the larynx has but opened up a grave for us to gaze into. And what have we beheld? A skeleton of the voice's body--of its soul not a trace. This skeleton, to boot, is but a portion of the mechanism of the voice; of its other parts, equally important, science has not even known that they were in existence. Like a palæontologist or an archæologist, I have dug up these other parts or fragments from all around; some were found close at hand, others quite a distance off. I have skilfully put them together, and have thus constructed a fairly complete torso, or framework of the voice. I say "torso," though I may justly claim more than that, having again infused the soul into it which had fled from it; and, see, it has become a living thing.

That the wonderful apparatus contained in the throat is for a purpose there cannot, of course, be any doubt. It is but partly for the purpose attributed to it, however, and, until we better comprehend this part-purpose, especially in view of the fact that we have no control over its mechanism, it will be best, as far as singers and elocutionists are concerned, to surrender it to and leave it with the anatomists.

To the ultimate aim of science--the knowledge of life--I have contributed matters of a nature deemed beyond the province of the knowledge of man. Was it ever intended that they should be known? On more than one occasion I have been puzzled to know whether to go on with these investigations; whether I had a right to go on with them. Still, I was sustained by the fact that I had been led on to them. For what other purpose could this have been done but for that of making the results thereof known? They could serve no good purpose in remaining locked up within myself.