Part 3

But, ah! he died; and buried with him lay The public feeling and the lawyers’ fees: His house was sold, his servants sent away, A Jew took one of his two mistresses, A priest the other—at least so they say: I ask’d the doctors after his disease— He died of the slow fever call’d the tertian, And left his widow to her own aversion.

Yet Jose was an honourable man, That I must say who knew him very well; Therefore his frailties I’ll no further scan Indeed there were not many more to tell; And if his passions now and then outran Discretion, and were not so peaceable As Numa’s (who was also named Pompilius), He had been ill brought up, and was born bilious.

Whate’er might be his worthlessness or worth, Poor fellow! he had many things to wound him. Let ’s own—since it can do no good on earth— It was a trying moment that which found him Standing alone beside his desolate hearth, Where all his household gods lay shiver’d round him: No choice was left his feelings or his pride, Save death or Doctors’ Commons—so he died.

Dying intestate, Juan was sole heir To a chancery suit, and messuages, and lands, Which, with a long minority and care, Promised to turn out well in proper hands: Inez became sole guardian, which was fair, And answer’d but to nature’s just demands; An only son left with an only mother Is brought up much more wisely than another.

Sagest of women, even of widows, she Resolved that Juan should be quite a paragon, And worthy of the noblest pedigree (His sire was of Castile, his dam from Aragon): Then for accomplishments of chivalry, In case our lord the king should go to war again, He learn’d the arts of riding, fencing, gunnery, And how to scale a fortress—or a nunnery.

But that which Donna Inez most desired, And saw into herself each day before all The learned tutors whom for him she hired, Was, that his breeding should be strictly moral; Much into all his studies she inquired, And so they were submitted first to her, all, Arts, sciences, no branch was made a mystery To Juan’s eyes, excepting natural history.

The languages, especially the dead, The sciences, and most of all the abstruse, The arts, at least all such as could be said To be the most remote from common use, In all these he was much and deeply read; But not a page of any thing that ’s loose, Or hints continuation of the species, Was ever suffer’d, lest he should grow vicious.

His classic studies made a little puzzle, Because of filthy loves of gods and goddesses, Who in the earlier ages raised a bustle, But never put on pantaloons or bodices; His reverend tutors had at times a tussle, And for their Æneids, Iliads, and Odysseys, Were forced to make an odd sort! of apology, For Donna Inez dreaded the Mythology.

Ovid ’s a rake, as half his verses show him, Anacreon’s morals are a still worse sample, Catullus scarcely has a decent poem, I don’t think Sappho’s Ode a good example, Although Longinus tells us there is no hymn Where the sublime soars forth on wings more ample: But Virgil’s songs are pure, except that horrid one Beginning with ‘Formosum Pastor Corydon.’

Lucretius’ irreligion is too strong, For early stomachs, to prove wholesome food; I can’t help thinking Juvenal was wrong, Although no doubt his real intent was good, For speaking out so plainly in his song, So much indeed as to be downright rude; And then what proper person can be partial To all those nauseous epigrams of Martial?

Juan was taught from out the best edition, Expurgated by learned men, who place Judiciously, from out the schoolboy’s vision, The grosser parts; but, fearful to deface Too much their modest bard by this omission, And pitying sore his mutilated case, They only add them all in an appendix, Which saves, in fact, the trouble of an index;

For there we have them all ‘at one fell swoop,’ Instead of being scatter’d through the Pages; They stand forth marshall’d in a handsome troop, To meet the ingenuous youth of future ages, Till some less rigid editor shall stoop To call them back into their separate cages, Instead of standing staring all together, Like garden gods—and not so decent either.

The Missal too (it was the family Missal) Was ornamented in a sort of way Which ancient mass-books often are, and this all Kinds of grotesques illumined; and how they, Who saw those figures on the margin kiss all, Could turn their optics to the text and pray, Is more than I know—But Don Juan’s mother Kept this herself, and gave her son another.

Sermons he read, and lectures he endured, And homilies, and lives of all the saints; To Jerome and to Chrysostom inured, He did not take such studies for restraints; But how faith is acquired, and then ensured, So well not one of the aforesaid paints As Saint Augustine in his fine Confessions, Which make the reader envy his transgressions.

This, too, was a seal’d book to little Juan— I can’t but say that his mamma was right, If such an education was the true one. She scarcely trusted him from out her sight; Her maids were old, and if she took a new one, You might be sure she was a perfect fright; She did this during even her husband’s life— I recommend as much to every wife.

Young Juan wax’d in goodliness and grace; At six a charming child, and at eleven With all the promise of as fine a face As e’er to man’s maturer growth was given: He studied steadily, and grew apace, And seem’d, at least, in the right road to heaven, For half his days were pass’d at church, the other Between his tutors, confessor, and mother.

At six, I said, he was a charming child, At twelve he was a fine, but quiet boy; Although in infancy a little wild, They tamed him down amongst them: to destroy His natural spirit not in vain they toil’d, At least it seem’d so; and his mother’s joy Was to declare how sage, and still, and steady, Her young philosopher was grown already.

I had my doubts, perhaps I have them still, But what I say is neither here nor there: I knew his father well, and have some skill In character—but it would not be fair From sire to son to augur good or ill: He and his wife were an ill-sorted pair— But scandal ’s my aversion—I protest Against all evil speaking, even in jest.

For my part I say nothing—nothing—but This I will say—my reasons are my own— That if I had an only son to put To school (as God be praised that I have none), ’Tis not with Donna Inez I would shut Him up to learn his catechism alone, No—no—I’d send him out betimes to college, For there it was I pick’d up my own knowledge.

For there one learns—’tis not for me to boast, Though I acquired—but I pass over that, As well as all the Greek I since have lost: I say that there’s the place—but ‘Verbum sat.’ I think I pick’d up too, as well as most, Knowledge of matters—but no matter what— I never married—but, I think, I know That sons should not be educated so.

Young Juan now was sixteen years of age, Tall, handsome, slender, but well knit: he seem’d Active, though not so sprightly, as a page; And everybody but his mother deem’d Him almost man; but she flew in a rage And bit her lips (for else she might have scream’d) If any said so, for to be precocious Was in her eyes a thing the most atrocious.

Amongst her numerous acquaintance, all Selected for discretion and devotion, There was the Donna Julia, whom to call Pretty were but to give a feeble notion Of many charms in her as natural As sweetness to the flower, or salt to ocean, Her zone to Venus, or his bow to Cupid (But this last simile is trite and stupid).

The darkness of her Oriental eye Accorded with her Moorish origin (Her blood was not all Spanish, by the by; In Spain, you know, this is a sort of sin); When proud Granada fell, and, forced to fly, Boabdil wept, of Donna Julia’s kin Some went to Africa, some stay’d in Spain, Her great-great-grandmamma chose to remain.

She married (I forget the pedigree) With an Hidalgo, who transmitted down His blood less noble than such blood should be; At such alliances his sires would frown, In that point so precise in each degree That they bred in and in, as might be shown, Marrying their cousins—nay, their aunts, and nieces, Which always spoils the breed, if it increases.

This heathenish cross restored the breed again, Ruin’d its blood, but much improved its flesh; For from a root the ugliest in Old Spain Sprung up a branch as beautiful as fresh; The sons no more were short, the daughters plain: But there’s a rumour which I fain would hush, ’Tis said that Donna Julia’s grandmamma Produced her Don more heirs at love than law.

However this might be, the race went on Improving still through every generation, Until it centred in an only son, Who left an only daughter; my narration May have suggested that this single one Could be but Julia (whom on this occasion I shall have much to speak about), and she Was married, charming, chaste, and twenty-three.

Her eye (I’m very fond of handsome eyes) Was large and dark, suppressing half its fire Until she spoke, then through its soft disguise Flash’d an expression more of pride than ire, And love than either; and there would arise A something in them which was not desire, But would have been, perhaps, but for the soul Which struggled through and chasten’d down the whole.

Her glossy hair was cluster’d o’er a brow Bright with intelligence, and fair, and smooth; Her eyebrow’s shape was like th’ aerial bow, Her cheek all purple with the beam of youth, Mounting at times to a transparent glow, As if her veins ran lightning; she, in sooth, Possess’d an air and grace by no means common: Her stature tall—I hate a dumpy woman.