Part 14

Here, in the moonlight, there is nothing new, The very arms that crush me to your heart, Seem almost like a memory, a part Of some vague yesterday that has come true-- I feel tonight as if I, dear, might start A journey back, across the years, with you!

FORGIVEN

You left me when the weary weight of sorrow Lay, like a stone, upon my bursting heart; It seemed as if no shimmering tomorrow Could dry the tears that you had caused to start. You left me, never telling why you wandered-- Without a word, without a last caress; Left me with but the love that I had squandered, The husks of love and a vast loneliness.

And yet if you came back with arms stretched toward me, Came back to-night, with carefree, smiling eyes, And said: "My journeying has somehow bored me, And love, though broken, never, never dies!" I would forget the wounded heart you gave me, I would forget the bruises on my soul. My old-time gods would rise again to save me, My dreams would grow supremely new and whole. What though youth lay, a tattered garment, o'er you? Warm words would leap upon my lips, long dumb; If you came back, with arms stretched out before you, AND TOLD ME, DEAR, THAT YOU WERE GLAD TO COME!

THE WRITING

Sometimes a mist of sunlight across a stranger's hair, Sometimes the vague expression upon a stranger's face, Can make me feel your presence--can fill a lonely place With dreams of life half realized. Faint music through the air Can make me hear your foot-fall, again, upon the stair-- Sometimes a dancer moving with quite unconscious grace, Can make my pulse beat faster; and for a breathless space Can make me turn, expecting to find you standing there!

You have not gone! The passing of every empty day Has only brought you nearer. Those things that were a part Of all we planned together are bits of you that stay, To bruise my soul as sharply as any flame-tipped dart. Ah, time may hold its healing--but years that pass away Cannot erase the writing you traced upon my heart!

AT PARTING

Love of my life, the time has come for parting-- For, dearest, I must leave you while we care! Leave you while tears of vain regret are starting, While I can look at you and find you fair. Could we endure a morn of bitter waking, Could we accept a love that would seem less? Dear, I must go the while my heart is breaking-- Go while my world is filled with happiness.

Love of my soul, our dream has been so flaming, That, if we waited, it might smoulder down-- Leaving dead ashes only, ashes shaming All that was vivid--ashes dimly brown. We will have memories as sweet as flowers, We who have left, untouched, Fate's cup of woe; Kiss me once more to bridge life's aching hours-- Love of my heart--the time has come to go!

WHEN I AM OLD--

When I am old and drenched in worlds of sadness, And wear a lacy cap upon my head; When, looking past the future's singing gladness, I linger, wistful, in the years long dead. When I am old, and young folk all about me, Speak softly of religion, WHEN THEY SPEAK, When parties are a grand success without me; And when my laugh is fluttering and weak--

Will I then be content to raise my glances, Serenely to the cloud-entangled sky? And will I be content to watch at dances, Without a heartbreak, as the hours pass by? Or when I see young lovers' fingers twine, WILL I REMEMBER, DEAR, YOUR LIPS ON MINE?

THE REFUGE

We hurried, once, down the purple road, When a storm hung low in the sky; And we gained the door of Love's abode As the silver rain flashed by. Our steps rang out as we crossed the sill, And the place was dimly bright, And even our hearts seemed strangely still, While our searching hands clasped tight.

We waited there while the wind moaned past And the thunder crashed in the air; And the door of Love's abode blew fast, But we didn't know--or care! For we heard a song in the driving rain, And the sky seemed warmly gray; And the tempest rang with a mad refrain, And the world seemed years away. . . . . . . . . .

We have wandered far from the road of dreams, We have crept from the house of love; And the scorching sun of the noonday gleams From the pitiless sky above. But once, ah, once--in that dusky place, When the lightning flashed through the air, I saw its flame on your upturned face, And its glow on your vivid hair.

We have strayed away--we have strayed away-- For the world is all too wide.... But once I came through the stormy day, And you walked, proud, at my side. AND, OH, FOR THE FEEL OF THE RAIN AGAIN, AND, OH, FOR THE PURPLE ROAD, AND, OH, FOR THE JOY AND THE PAIN AGAIN, THAT WE KNEW IN LOVE'S ABODE!

TO DREAM ALONE....

How long the days may seem, how long each night, (And yet, how short the evenings used to be!) How strange it is that I can never see, Warm pictures in the hearth that glows so bright. We used to watch the laughing firelight, And build dream castles in it--Ah, but we Built castles everywhere! And now the sea Is swept between us. You have gone to fight.

And I--I wait and try to dream alone, And try to smile, to dance and laugh and sing; And, somehow, cannot think of anything, But just the thrilling roughness of your tone, The light that lights your eyes, your lips that cling, And love--the flame of love that we have known!

NOW I MAY SING OF SADNESS....

Knowing, dear, that my whole heart lies at rest Deep in the heart of you, I may sing a song Telling the tale of bitterness and wrong.... Knowing, dear, that my head lay on your breast Only last night, I may sing of dreams that died, And hopes that never were born, and faith betrayed, Of weary feet that have left the road and strayed Out of the narrow way, to pastures wide.

Dear, when my songs were gay, I did not know Whether you cared. And so I had to sing Gladly, to mask grim fear--I had to bring Sunlight to point the path that I must go! Now that the clouds are silver sweet above, I may sing songs of sadness. I am blessed Knowing, dear, that my whole heart lies at rest, Knowing, dear, that I have your love--your love!

KNOWING THAT YOU HAVE WALKED HER MUDDY ROADS WEARILY, AFTER BITTER TIMES OF FIGHTING; KNOWING THAT YOU HAVE CARRIED HEAVY LOADS OVER HER HILLS--WHILE I, AT HOME, WAS LIGHTING DIM YELLOW CANDLES ON THE MANTEL SHELF.... KNOWING YOU SUFFERED AGONY AND LOSS, UNDER THE VERY SHADOW OF A CROSS-- FRANCE HOLDS A BIT OF YOU--AND OF MYSELF!

WHEN WAR CAME

War came, one day, and drew us close together, Although it swept us many miles apart; The love that lay as lightly as a feather, Now rests, a precious weight, upon my heart. And all the dreams I dreamed for just the dreaming, Have taken on a meaning that is new; And somehow all the lonely world is seeming, To cry aloud my aching need of you!

Because you were so much a part of living, Like sunshine and the freshness of the air, The priceless gift of faith that you were giving Seemed small to me. Scarce knowing you were there I took your heart-strings in my careless fingers, And played a song as light as summer dew, And yet, today, its wistful echo lingers And fills an empty world with thoughts of you.