Part 151

“That's it, exactly! Any man, if I told him about this situation, would say that I'm a fool not to use every tool I can get hold of. But you understand better! I'm glad I came to talk with you. I have been dreadfully tempted. Your advice is keeping me straight!”

“I have not advised you, Boyd!”

“You don't need to use words! It's your instinct telling me what is right to do. You wouldn't think it was a square deal for me to use these papers, would you?”

“If you love her so much that you're willing to sacrifice yourself and your work and--”

“Say it, Polly! I'm sacrificing your father, too! It's for a notion--not much else!”

“No, it must be because you love her so much. You are afraid she will think less of you if you take advantage of her. I think your stand is noble, Boyd!”

“I don't! I think it's infernal foolishness, and I wish the Mayo breed didn't have so much of that cursed stiff-necked conscience! Our family wouldn't be where it is to-day.” He spoke with so much heat that she turned-wondering eyes on him.

“But it's for her sake, Boyd! It's--”

“Nothing of the sort! That is, it isn't as you think it is.”

“I only think you love her.”

“I don't want you to say that--or believe it!” he raved. “If you only knew--if I could tell you--you'd see that it's insulting my common sense to say that I'm in love with Alma Marston. I don't love her! I--I don't know just where I stand. I don't know what's the matter with me. I'm in the most damnable position a man can be in. And I'm talking like a fool. Isn't that so?”

“I don't understand you,” she faltered.

“Of course you don't. I reckon I'm a lunatic. I'll be rolling over here and biting the grass next!”

His passion puzzled her. His flaming eyes, his rough beard, his rage, and all the uncouth personality of him shocked her.

“Boyd, what--whatever is the matter? I'm afraid.”

“I don't blame you. I'm afraid of myself these days!” He shook his swollen fists over his head.

“It ought to encourage you because she is trying to help you!”

“Be still!” he roared. “You don't know what you're talking about. Help me! There are women who can help a man--do help a man, every turn he makes. There are other women who keep kicking him down into damnation even when they think they are helping. I'm not going to stay here any longer. I mustn't stay, Polly. I'll be saying things worse than what I have said. What I said about women doesn't refer to you! You are true and good, and I envy that man, whoever he is.”

He started down the slope toward the beach.

“Are you going back to the wreck?” she asked, plaintively.

“To the wreck!”

“But wait!” She could not control either her feelings or her voice.

“I can't wait. I don't dare to stay another minute!”

She called again and he halted at a little distance and faced her. He was absolutely savage in demeanor and tone.

“Remember what I said about her! Don't insult my common sense! She is--Oh, no matter!” He shook his fists again and went on his way.

She stood on the hillside and watched him row out to the little schooner. And through her tears she did not know whether he waved salute to her with those poor, work-worn hands, or again shook his fists. He made some sort of a flourish over the rail of the quarter-deck. The grieving and mystified girl was somberly certain that his troubles had touched Mayo's wits.

XXXI ~ THE BIG FELLOW HIMSELF

Will had promised his Sue that this trip, if well ended, Should coil up his ropes and he'd anchor on shore. When his pockets were lined, why his life should be mended, The laws he had broken he'd never break more. --Will Watch.