Part 16

"It proves, that they dislocated me in my childhood."

"But set thy joints! to that end thou art a human being, a man; thou hast no need to borrow energy! But, at any rate, is it possible, is it permissible, to erect a private fact, so to speak, into a general law, into an immutable law?"

"Where is the rule?"--interrupted Lavrétzky,--"I do not admit...."

"Yes, it is thy rule, thy rule," Mikhalévitch interrupted him in his turn....

"Thou art an egoist, that's what thou art!"--he thundered, an hour later:--"thou hast desired thine own personal enjoyment, thou hast desired happiness in life, thou hast desired to live for thyself alone...."

"What dost thou mean by personal enjoyment?"

"And everything has deceived thee; everything has crumbled away beneath thy feet."

"What is personal enjoyment,--I ask thee?"

"And it was bound to crumble. For thou hast sought support where it was not to be found, for thou hast built thy house on a quicksand...."

"Speak more plainly, without metaphors, because I do not understand thee."

"Because,--laugh if it pleases thee,--because there is no faith in thee, no warmth of heart; mind, merely a farthing mind; thou art simply a pitiful, lagging Voltairian--that's what thou art!"

"Who--I am a Voltairian?"

"Yes, just the same sort as thy father was, and dost not suspect it thyself."

"After that,"--cried Lavrétzky,--"I have a right to say that thou art a fanatic!"

"Alas!"--returned Mikhalévitch, with contrition:--"unhappily, as yet I have in no way earned so lofty an appellation...."

"Now I have discovered what to call thee,"--shouted this same Mikhalévitch, at three o'clock in the morning;--"thou art not a sceptic, not a disillusioned man, not a Voltairian,--thou art a trifler, and thou art an evil-minded trifler, a conscious trifler, not an ingenuous trifler. Ingenuous triflers lie around on the oven and do nothing, because they do not know how to do anything; and they think of nothing. But thou art a thinking man,--and thou liest around; thou mightest do something--and thou dost nothing; thou liest with thy well-fed belly upward and sayest: 'It is proper to lie thus, because everything that men do is nonsense, and twaddle which leads to nothing.'"

"But what makes thee think that I trifle,"--insisted Lavrétzky:--"why dost thou assume such thoughts on my part?"

"And more than that, all of you, all the people of your sort,"--pursued the obstreperous Mikhalévitch:--"are erudite triflers. You know on what foot the German limps, you know what is bad about the English and the French,--and your knowledge comes to your assistance, justifies your shameful laziness, your disgusting inactivity. Some men will even pride themselves, and say, 'What a clever fellow I am!--I lie around, but the others, the fools, bustle about.' Yes!--And there are such gentlemen among us,--I am not saying this with reference to thee, however,--who pass their whole lives in a sort of stupor of tedium, grow accustomed to it, sit in it like ... like a mushroom in sour cream," Mikhalévitch caught himself up, and burst out laughing at his own comparison.--"Oh, that stupor of tedium is the ruin of the Russians! The repulsive trifler, all his life long, is getting ready to work...."

"Come, what art thou calling names for?"--roared Lavrétzky, in his turn.--"Work ... act ... Tell me, rather, what to do, but don't call names, you Poltáva Demosthenes!"

"Just see what a freak he has taken! I'll not tell thee that, brother; every one must know that himself," retorted Demosthenes, ironically.--"A landed proprietor, a nobleman--and he doesn't know what to do! Thou hast no faith, or thou wouldst know; thou hast no faith--and there is no revelation."

"Give me a rest, at any rate, you devil: give me a chance to look around me,"--entreated Lavrétzky.

"Not a minute, not a second of respite!"--retorted Mikhalévitch, with an imperious gesture of the hand.--"Not one second!--Death does not wait, and life ought not to wait."...

"And when, where did men get the idea of becoming triflers?"--he shouted, at four o'clock in the morning, but his voice had now begun to be rather hoarse: "among us! now! in Russia! when on every separate individual a duty, a great obligation is incumbent toward God, toward the nation, toward himself! We are sleeping, but time is passing on; we are sleeping...."

"Permit me to observe to thee,"--said Lavrétzky,--"that we are not sleeping at all, now, but are, rather, preventing others from sleeping. We are cracking our throats like cocks. Hark, isn't that the third cock-crow?"

This sally disconcerted and calmed down Mikhalévitch. "Farewell until to-morrow,"--he said, with a smile,--and thrust his pipe into his tobacco-pouch. "Farewell until to-morrow," repeated Lavrétzky. But the friends conversed for an hour longer. However, their voices were no longer raised, and their speeches were quiet, sad, and kind.

Mikhalévitch departed on the following day, in spite of all Lavrétzky's efforts to detain him. Feódor Ivánitch did not succeed in persuading him to remain; but he talked with him to his heart's content. It came out, that Mikhalévitch had not a penny in the world. Already, on the preceding evening, Lavrétzky, with compassion, had observed in him all the signs and habits of confirmed poverty; his boots were broken, a button was missing from the back of his coat, his hands were guiltless of gloves, down was visible in his hair; on his arrival, it had not occurred to him to ask for washing materials, and at supper he ate like a shark, tearing the meat apart with his hands, and cracking the bones noisily with his strong, black teeth. It appeared, also, that the service had been of no benefit to him, that he had staked all his hopes on the revenue-farmer, who had engaged him simply with the object of having in his counting-house "an educated man." In spite of all this, Mikhalévitch was not dejected, and lived on as a cynic, an idealist, a poet, sincerely rejoicing and grieving over the lot of mankind, over his own calling,--and troubled himself very little as to how he was to keep himself from dying with hunger. Mikhalévitch had not married, but had been in love times without number, and wrote verses about all his lady-loves; with especial fervour did he sing the praises of one mysterious "panna" with black and curling locks.... Rumours were in circulation, it is true, to the effect that the "panna" in question was a plain Jewess, well known to many cavalry officers ... but, when you come to think of it,--does that make any difference?

Mikhalévitch did not get on well with Lemm: his vociferous speeches, his harsh manners, frightened the German, who was not used to such things.... An unfortunate wretch always scents another unfortunate wretch from afar, but rarely makes up to him in old age,--and this is not in the least to be wondered at: he has nothing to share with him,--not even hopes.

Before his departure, Mikhalévitch had another long talk with Lavrétzky, prophesied perdition to him, if he did not come to a sense of his errors, entreated him to occupy himself seriously with the existence of his peasants, set himself up as an example, saying, that he had been purified in the furnace of affliction,--and immediately thereafter, several times mentioned himself as a happy man, compared himself to the birds of heaven, the lilies of the field....